Sweet vs. Bitch

BITTER BLOG ALERT!! WARNING DON'T WRITE ENTRIES WHEN YOUR MAD

What do you think that means? My definition is drastically different that it was years ago.

Before, one of the worst things that I could be called is a bitch. It really used to "bother me if someone even thought that I was a bitch. Why? Because, truth be told I am a lot of things, but I am not a bitch. I have always gone out of my way to be nice to people. In fact, most of my confidence came from the fact that I was one of those people everyone liked. If someone didn't like me, whether I did something to them or not, I would try to find a way to resolve it so that they would like me again. All of this trouble, and if someone rolled their eyes at me like "that bitch". My first thought would be "oh my god, I pissed her off. I have to fix it!!!". Pathetic, I know.

I accept my altruism as a part of me now. I don't shun it anymore. I don't clench my teeth everytime someone says I'm too nice. I've learned to make friends with it, and as a result, am gradually learning to control it.

I still think I'm nice, I don't think I'm "sweet" anymore. And that's okay. It's the "sweet" people who are the meanest mother fuckers you'll ever meet. The sweeties have to overcompensate for the evil that lies beneath, myself included in this category.
I don't go out of my way to speak to people anymore, I don't speak to people I don't want to speak to, and I am really sure of who I trust as well as who my real friends are.

"Sweet" is overrated. People who I have befriended and ex-friended have all been "sweet", but that's it. I never liked any other attribute of their personality than the fact that they're "sweet". This list includes "boyfriends". I've spent majority of my life giving people my time and energy that they didn't deserve. Also, from my experience, I find that a lot of "sweet" people are extremely self-involved. If you really listen to them talk, they only talk about themselves and the conversation revolves around how much them and what the world owes them, and that's not sweet.

Sadly, I can also identify with people, who society labels as bitches. Because, they don't lay it on thick with this sugary sweet exterior, because they don't take shit from people especially men, because they don't give a shit as to what anyone thinks, they are labeled as bitches. I used to think my sister was a bitch, for 20+ years in fact, she's not. She just does not care what anyone thinks, she doesn't settle for less than greatness, and the people who really know her she's great to. I get it now.


Jennifer Lopez doesn't count in this category by the way. Now she is a bitch