1. Beyonce, full blown hatred. Not even jealous anymore, she just urks the shit out me now.
2. 3 weeks until project California. I'm terrified, of coming back that is. No one has contacted me about a job as of yet, and its really freaking me out at this point.
3. I realized now that I have stayed at this hellhole for so long, because I forgot how much I hate looking for a job. I absolutely hate it, all the work, all the applications, all the interviews...after all that, you find out they had someone in mind for the job anyway and all your efforts were in vain.
4. Maybe its because I've been in this shithole for so long, but I'm really fed up with black men at the moment. I know there are good ones out there, but confident, strong, educated, non wannabe thuggish, open minded black men, with no kids are very few and far between. I'm into Jewish men now. I'm sure its just a phase.
5. Speaking of thugs, regular guys (of any race) never approach me. Just the "thugs". Not my exterior either, I dress like a preppie most of the time. My best friend and I were talking about the only kinds of black women who are widely regarded as okay to think of as beautiful either look like either Halle Berry or Iman. White girl or extremely exotic, and always skinny. No in between. Most black women are my complexion, with my build, and my big ass. So the only ones who can decipher the difference, and unfortunately appreciate us is the "thugs", screaming obscenities at us indoors from outside....but I digress...
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