The first ever double post...I'm broke/I'm going to be single forever

I'm broke

I don't know if I've ever been that open about my money problems before, but I guess I will now.

I'm broke. Who isn't right? Well, I am included in the most elite of the broke. Summary breakdown of my expenses?

Rent $600
car note $345
insurance $98
I owe the government $500
credit card bills from "emergencies" because I make no money...$1 million dollars.(not really, but close to it).

So I guess I could get a second job right? Wrong, I worked two jobs for three years and it didn't make a dent in my finances. Budget? okay, I have been lately. I made a commitmment to myself that I was going to get my shit together all summer so that I can start acting classes in the fall. Well, considering where I live and all the unexpected things that come up, (i.e. the flat tire I got last week, the $100 I still owe loverboy) its hard to do so.

My job? Pays nothing. I've never made money for real. Ever. As far as a second job, well it took me forever to get this one so I can't imagine getting another one that has to fit into a schedule. I'm not ruling it out completely, but its just I've been there and done that. And the more money you make, the more you spend.

The hard truth? I have been on roughly 15(?) job interviews and my already waning self-esteem was crushed a little with each one. Always the same shit, always the same protocol, always going with a internal candidate making the preparation as well as the trip itself a waste of time.I'm very grateful I can pay(or pay on) my bills, and I see this job as paying my dues and such, but I'm worth a lot more than this. It really disheartens me that I see so many people, people who I'm smarter than, people who don't know the meaning of working hard, get ahead based on the fact that they knew someone, or they just plain got lucky. I am very aware that the world is not fair, but screw that. I'm tired of the world not being fair, and I am so sick of the people who deserve the most getting the shit kicked out of them.

And scene...

I'm going to be single forever
Dude I spoke about in my last post? Done.

Summary. Met me for drinks on Sunday. Saw him there drinking, drunk out of his mind. Depressed more than anyone I've ever seen.Turns out the only reason he invited me in the first place is because he needed someone to pay for his drinks. He left his card at another bar. Didn't know this until after I got the bill. He said that he had money at his house and he would follow me to mine to give me the money back. He went in his house. I took off. Haven't seen or heard from him since.

Found out yesterday from his friend that he saw his ex-fiance with another man the day prior to our gathering. And apparently he's suicidal because of it. Not funny, but kinda funny. The bitch in me admits that.

Needless to say, my record remains intact. So girls, if you want to find out if your man is crazy or not, have him around me for about a day. Trust me, its like dracula turning ordinary humans into the undead.