The Interview

So my pilgrimage to LA takes place in about 2 weeks and I am terrified. I am definitely preparing myself for the worst. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy that I am blessed to go and try this, but at the same time I am scared shitless that it won't work out and I am back in hell again, plotting once again my neverending escape from Alcatraz.

The following is a interview conducted to me by me pretty much illustrating how I feel about life right now:

So I understand you want to be actress, and I know you have a reputation for hating celebrities, let's first start by asking who you hate in Hollywood right now.
Oh, cool I have a new list. The top at that list right now is Angelina Jolie. Everybody thinks she's the Virgin Mary. I think she thinks she's the virgin mary, all because she adopted some ethnic kids and she's pretty. That's what its all about.... her bring pretty. So therefore she can do nothing wrong. Instead of flying by plane to all of these poor countries, she just floats with her veil as a cape.
Drew Barrymore, hate her. She strikes me as the fakest bitch on the planet. If she's that nice, why is she best friends with Cameron Diaz, who is literally the fakest bitch on the planet.
Beyonce, yuck..I can go on, but I'll leave it alone, because I'll get bored. Tyra Banks is an idiot pretending to be smart. Paris Hilton, that one goes without saying.
Paris scares me, she has no soul.

What is your biggest fear about your trip?
Looking everyone in the eye once again and telling them I'm coming back. I've been through this so many times even I think I'm full or shit at this point. Now I feel like the reason I stayed here so long is because I'm so scared of change I became comfortable in my own misery. Took pride in bitching and complaining and not doing anything about it. I became my mother.

How does your family feel about this?
They don't give a shit. It would be different if I got this six figure job and I'm moving to be near it, they would be all up my ass, but honestly they could care less.

Does that bother you?
Hell no. I prefer it that way actually.

In the event you became a successful actress, would you become...different?
You mean a bitch? (laughs). Only to these specific people. My mom and her side of the family because they would transition into money grubbing vultures, and to them I would animorph into "the walking check", to hair and makeup people, because it took 28 years to get my shit together and you're not going to fuck it up in one oil-laden makeup brushed swoop, and to Paris Hilton and others like her, because she is fucking up the youth of our country.

What going to happen with you and "Loverboy"?
You know what, I really haven't thought that much about it, suprisingly. I guess I'm so hell bent on planning and doing my own thing, that I haven't thought that much about how he fits into the picture, except as a friend, of course. Imagine that.

One final question, you were pretty depressed for a while about entering the business because of the whole emphasis on looks, is your perspective still the same?
No, its not. If I built on career on trying to be the hot girl, I'd be Jessica Alba. Believe me,I do not want to be Jessica Alba. Bitch has no charisma. Truth is, if I get cast as the quirky best friend, then I get cast as the quirky best friend. If I'm the "fat" girl, I'm the fat girl. All the actresses who are good, who I love did not spend their time trying to be hot girl, they just were cast period. And I wouldn't spend all my time trying to diet and workout, and more time trying to be good enough to get cast.