I Never Meet Guys

Alright, so here's my annual bitch session about never having a boyfriend, taking on a new form.

You ever hear this before,
"Oh, I met this guy last night..."
"Oh, I was at the grocery store, and I met this guy..."
"Oh, I was out last night and I met this guy...."

Okay, I have never ever said that. Okay, I have said that, but I say that maybe once every hmm... 3 to 4 years? I don't understand how women even do it.

So I've been in LA for roughly seven months now, and this city is the relationship capital of the world. Especially working the mall where I work, I see couples coming in holding hands, the boyfriends dilligently waiting while the girlfriends try on clothes, and in some gross instances couples full on making out and groping each other in the middle of the store. Everyone is in a relationship here. Not that I'm bitter, just an observation.

Here's a startling admission. I really have no idea how to meet guys. At all. I know you're saying, "Oh its easy, you have a personality just go up and talk to them". Well, to be honest, I believe that hinders me better than helps me.

To clarify the previous statement, my friend Addam told me last year something that I resented very much at the time. He said, "I can see why someone like (insert random name here) has a boyfriend, because she's easy. She just is. You're not."

"What are trying to say Addam, am I too complex?"

"Not really complex persay, its just too much."

"What are trying to say, difficult? too smart? too neurotic, what?"

"Put it like this, no dude really wants to deal with all that."

Sadly, as retarded as this all sounds. I completely understand what he meant. And even more sadly, he's absolutely right. Right now, at this moment, I don't feel like I can be with anyone. Even the random occurences when I do meet a guy, and even more random when I meet one I actually like, its like when I open my mouth, its over.

Living here also, its also a hinderence the way I look. As I mentioned in earlier posts, the men are not too fond of the average sized full blooded black women here. And I'm about as average looking black woman as you can get. So unless he's a old non-English speaking Mexican man, or a really old white man with a slave fetish. I'm pretty much screwed.