So the big change that I keep whining about is that I'm turning this exclusively into dating blog. Yeah, I don't know anything about dating at 32, but I'm giving all of us late bloomers hope. And that get pretty or die trying link over there? That's my beauty blog. (**Snort**) Seriously. Late bloomers, unite!!
So, before I start entering my grand re-entrance into the blogging world, I guess I need to tie up some loose ends from the last couple of years. If you all have scrolled through for just a second, these two topics may have popped up, occasionally. (cough,cough).
1. I'm not an actress anymore
There's two things that were very prevalent on my past postings, the first being how badly I wanted to be an actress, and the second being the topic which I will cover in number two. I'm still in L. A., a feat to which I am still surprised. After two years of constant, constant poverty, almost full year of of unemployment, and several hundred dollars on acting classes and headshots spent to no avail, and countless other setbacks, I stopped. Even after not getting past go, I knew didn't love it anymore. But in this puzzling life altering process, clarity came. I pretty much came to the conclusion, that I'm a writer, specifically screenwriter/blogger extraordinaire and I'm pretty sure I always have been, and have been pursuing pretty heavily it ever since.
2. Loverboy
Wow, too say I was obsessed was kind of an understatement, right? Well, after I moved out our story didn't end there. To sum it up, he never really left my life. Is it unhealthy? Absolutely. But, I really wish I can explain it but I can't. He ended up breaking up with the girl who was basically living with us and getting another girlfriend. I ended up diving into a very, very unhealthy relationship, just a prove a point to myself that I can move on. That guy sucked, but in a weird way it gave me that nudge in the right direction that I so desperately needed. I also dated another guy right after him. He really wanted to be with me, like for real. I'm ashamed to say I've never had that experience before. But it was nice. That guy ended up being an obsessive controlling dickweed, and I broke it off with him after a couple of months. But he became a turning point in my dating life. And I haven't settled for less since.
Yes, I'm still single. Looking back on my past postings, I really hated being single. But I hated it for the wrong reasons. Basically, for all those years, Loverboy was in close proximity of me whether we were actually living together, or him living down the street, so I guess I felt that if I got with someone else while he was still around, then that would kill any chance that I would ever have of him loving me. And because, of all the pressure I put on myself, and the misery of watching him get with other people instead of me, it resulted in me thinking I was never good enough for anyone. Therefore, I never tried.
It's different now. I have friends here, I'm a lot more settled. It's been four years. I'm single, but it's because I choose to be. I could have a man, sure, but it would be the unhealthiest relationship ever. Been there.
I have a job, two sadly(damn economy), that even though they are definitely not the ideal jobs, or neither the ideal pay. I didn't settle. I actually put some thought into what kind of environment I wanted to be in, what I wanted to do make money to pay my bills. It's not my life. This is.
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