Monday, August 25, 2008
All suggestions needed....
I am restless. I quit my second job and I am going crazy. I quit so that I can get a life. So now I need to get one and I don't know how to do that. Like for real, I'm sure I'm PMSing right now, but I really need to get out and meet new people because the ones I know suck. Oh, yeah I'm broke. Any advice?
Friday, August 01, 2008
For those who have been wondering..
I know I said that I would be continuing the whole dating rules post, but I'll do that next post, but I figure I'd take the time to address something I have been avoiding talking about the last two months... Mike.
And the status Mike and I...(drum roll)...we're friends (really) and we're fine.
Its kind of amazing how life throws you a bone after all that drama. When I moved out, Mike helped me move my stuff and after that I don't think I talked to him really for about a week or two. When I left, I literally felt like I don't care what happens to us, I'm indiferrent about it all. Fuck it, I talk to you, I don't, whatever. 1-2 weeks later, he's staying with his friend at the moment, he called me because a job that he had gotten resended their offer no reason. He was understandably upset, I came over we had a loong talk, he got on anti-depressants and we've been fine ever since.
Yes, he's still with his girlfriend. And no, I don't care. He can marry her for all I care. Do I love him? Sure, always will, but I know better now. But I guess that was the point for that living experience. To be honest, Mike does a lot stuff for me, he buys groceries, he fixes stuff in my house, he fixed my car. And nothing in our friendship feels forced or unnatural at all.
What sparked this change you ask? It wasn't him, it was me, I made my life completely about him, but I didn't want to deal with what I needed to do. That's why I went apeshit when he got with his girl. She fucked up my plans. I started caring about myself, giving myself peace of mind, and I stopped making my whole life revolve another person. I even stopped with all the dramatic behavior, stopped gossiping, stopped talking to these stupid ass boys, sleeping more, stopped going to orange county as much, and most importantly, I stopped talking on the phone, which was really the source of all my bitchy musings.
All I really want for him at this point is to get his shit together, and be successful, even if its without me. And to be honest, this is the most valiant ever I've seen him make. He's medicated, he's not on the phone as much, and he's not nearly as sporadic. Its almost like we both finally got a clue at the same time.
I really didn't think I could sort of march forward, unless I cut him out of my life. And this point in time, with my state of mind I would have no problem doing it, because I'm all about no drama these days. But in some weird way, God made so I didn't have to and I am grateful for that.
And the status Mike and I...(drum roll)...we're friends (really) and we're fine.
Its kind of amazing how life throws you a bone after all that drama. When I moved out, Mike helped me move my stuff and after that I don't think I talked to him really for about a week or two. When I left, I literally felt like I don't care what happens to us, I'm indiferrent about it all. Fuck it, I talk to you, I don't, whatever. 1-2 weeks later, he's staying with his friend at the moment, he called me because a job that he had gotten resended their offer no reason. He was understandably upset, I came over we had a loong talk, he got on anti-depressants and we've been fine ever since.
Yes, he's still with his girlfriend. And no, I don't care. He can marry her for all I care. Do I love him? Sure, always will, but I know better now. But I guess that was the point for that living experience. To be honest, Mike does a lot stuff for me, he buys groceries, he fixes stuff in my house, he fixed my car. And nothing in our friendship feels forced or unnatural at all.
What sparked this change you ask? It wasn't him, it was me, I made my life completely about him, but I didn't want to deal with what I needed to do. That's why I went apeshit when he got with his girl. She fucked up my plans. I started caring about myself, giving myself peace of mind, and I stopped making my whole life revolve another person. I even stopped with all the dramatic behavior, stopped gossiping, stopped talking to these stupid ass boys, sleeping more, stopped going to orange county as much, and most importantly, I stopped talking on the phone, which was really the source of all my bitchy musings.
All I really want for him at this point is to get his shit together, and be successful, even if its without me. And to be honest, this is the most valiant ever I've seen him make. He's medicated, he's not on the phone as much, and he's not nearly as sporadic. Its almost like we both finally got a clue at the same time.
I really didn't think I could sort of march forward, unless I cut him out of my life. And this point in time, with my state of mind I would have no problem doing it, because I'm all about no drama these days. But in some weird way, God made so I didn't have to and I am grateful for that.
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