So I have a disability that I have been sufferring from my whole life and I must conquer it very soon, or it will be completely detrimental to my well being.
I suck at job interviews.
I mean I really suck so much ass at job interviews. Bad. I have been on several job interviews and I swear some people are just polite enough to let me finish before they throw my resume quickly into the trash.
So the first question is if I suck so badly on job interviews, how do I have the job that I have now. My workplace is very, very laid back. So laid back that we had a alcoholic working here for several years and the only reason that she was fired was because she didn't tell us that she was going to rehab. Also, my current boss doesn't interview, he talks. A lot. If you pretend like your listening long enough, you can get hired. In fact, I wasn't even first choice for my job. The other guy they hired did it and found out how much money they paid and quit. So they called me.
In fact, the only other job interview I have actually aced is was when I was with my ex and I had all this super false esteem going. So I was smiley and happy. Pretty much hired me on the spot. I think I was hopped on on diet pills then too.
The pressing question: Why do I suck on job interviews? I honestly don't know, but this are my own personal theories.
1. I look desperate.
Whenever I am applying for a job, I'm so happy to get the interview that I delude myself into thinking I've gotten hired already. So when I walk in, my whole attitude screams, "Why are we going through this question nonsense, when do I start". Embarrassingly, I actually said that in an interview once. Then I get bitter. Then the nasty attitude comes in.
2. I have a nasty attitude
Anybody who knows me for real, knows that it really takes a lot for me to get excited about anything. I don't consider myself an unhappy person, just extremely cynical. I've gotten so bitter over the years, that I really don't know any other way to be. Employers don't like that.
3. I don't want the job that I'm interviewing for
I never want any of the jobs that I interview for, because when employers start asking me those dumb unecessary questions the whole time I'm thinking, "Why am I here ? I want to be an actress. Real people work is beneath me." All condescending and crap. Which slowly, but effectively creeps into my answers to the interview questions.
Sometimes I think that when these people are interviewing me they're probably thinking I going to just say fuck it and start rolling a cigarette in front of them. I hope that paints a clearer picture for you.
Any help whatsoever would be unbelievably appreciated. Because if not, I'm taking a sudafed before I walk into that piece I swear.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tyra Banks is such a damn cunt....
Tyra, Tyra, Tyra, why do you give me so much material. I have to physically restrain myself from pontificating for hours on end about how much I hate you.
WARNING: Not Dial-up Friendly
I was watching a old episode of America's Next Top Model on VH1, and they were showing the second season when it occured to me how fixed it is and how much of a fucking cunt Tyra is. The show should be renamed Tyra Banks's Survivor or A Day in the life of Tyra the Life Ruiner instead of America's Next Top Model.
I will write this post as I am speaking to someone has never watched America's Next Top Model before. Faithful viewers I'm not insulting your intelligence.
Tyra has twelve finalists, she kicks off the biggest threat first.
This is the first girl is the first girl kicked off season 5.
This girl made it to the top 4:
Tyra kicked the first girl off because she said something in her initial interview to the judges about having "a pretty gene". The second girl wore diaper for one of the photo shoots and pissed in her diaper as a joke, and she was mean to the other girls, and that she was a drunk. When they did finally send her home, she didn't have a bad photo shoot really, the judges (by judges I mean Tyra) just made up some bullshit reason to send her home.
You see, Tyra is such a bitch she kicks off every one first who is a threat to her and leaves the girls who do not have a chance in hell to make fools out of themselves for most of the show. She usually leaves one person who actually stands a chance in the modeling world to the final 2, and picks some random ass winner.
Speaking of which...
Next up:
The runner-up
And the winner:
She knew good and well that girl was not going to do anything post Top Model because she's stupid and country. Shit, she looks it.
And don't even try to say anything to me about this bitch:
The only reason we even remember her name is because she's Missy Elliott's kept bitch. That's why we randomly see her ass on these awards shows. Not because she's "successful" You can quote me on that if you see her.
Oh, yeah the winner gets a 4-page layout in Elle girl or some major magazine. I would be pissed if I went through all of this bullshit on national television, just for this to happen:
This is the second season winner Yoanna whom I believe is the only one out of all the winners who actually looks like a model and seemingly knew something about fashion. For that, she has been reduced (by reduced I mean insecure ass Tyra blacklisting her) to hosting "The Look for Less" on the style channel never to be seen or heard from ever again.
Fuck you, Tyra. You can quote me on that if you see her.
WARNING: Not Dial-up Friendly
I was watching a old episode of America's Next Top Model on VH1, and they were showing the second season when it occured to me how fixed it is and how much of a fucking cunt Tyra is. The show should be renamed Tyra Banks's Survivor or A Day in the life of Tyra the Life Ruiner instead of America's Next Top Model.
I will write this post as I am speaking to someone has never watched America's Next Top Model before. Faithful viewers I'm not insulting your intelligence.
Tyra has twelve finalists, she kicks off the biggest threat first.
This is the first girl is the first girl kicked off season 5.
This girl made it to the top 4:
Tyra kicked the first girl off because she said something in her initial interview to the judges about having "a pretty gene". The second girl wore diaper for one of the photo shoots and pissed in her diaper as a joke, and she was mean to the other girls, and that she was a drunk. When they did finally send her home, she didn't have a bad photo shoot really, the judges (by judges I mean Tyra) just made up some bullshit reason to send her home.
You see, Tyra is such a bitch she kicks off every one first who is a threat to her and leaves the girls who do not have a chance in hell to make fools out of themselves for most of the show. She usually leaves one person who actually stands a chance in the modeling world to the final 2, and picks some random ass winner.
Speaking of which...
Next up:
The runner-up
And the winner:
She knew good and well that girl was not going to do anything post Top Model because she's stupid and country. Shit, she looks it.
And don't even try to say anything to me about this bitch:
The only reason we even remember her name is because she's Missy Elliott's kept bitch. That's why we randomly see her ass on these awards shows. Not because she's "successful" You can quote me on that if you see her.
Oh, yeah the winner gets a 4-page layout in Elle girl or some major magazine. I would be pissed if I went through all of this bullshit on national television, just for this to happen:
This is the second season winner Yoanna whom I believe is the only one out of all the winners who actually looks like a model and seemingly knew something about fashion. For that, she has been reduced (by reduced I mean insecure ass Tyra blacklisting her) to hosting "The Look for Less" on the style channel never to be seen or heard from ever again.
Fuck you, Tyra. You can quote me on that if you see her.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
February 14.
I've been by myself so long, I've passed the bitter "I don't have a man" valentine's day reaction and have moved on to straight indifference. I didn't even know it was Valentine's Day until a girl in my office got flowers from her boyfriend.
First of all, all bitterness aside, I hate that shit. I hate when women get flowers at their job and they fake act all surprised. Annoys me to all hell. Your boyfriend probably called you and for no apparent reason asked for the address to your job last night, and you mean to tell me you didn't know what was going on? You all been probably been together about a year and he never asked you shit about your job before, all of a sudden he's asking your address? The next day, "Oh, my god I'm can't believe he did that!". Anyway.
I turn 27 next week and my mom asked me if was going to get married before I was 30. I said no. She said why. I said "well, in order for me to get married by the time I'm 30, I sort of have to meet him by now." She looked at me like she thought I was lying. What bothered me about this exchange was not the fact that I still don't have a boyfriend, not even the fact that my mother thinks I'm a pathological liar, but the fact that I am officially old enough for the marriage naggging to start. That's late 20's nagging, that's old.
I think the first thing that crossed my mind when people ask me what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. I ask myself if I'm having sex that day. Then I ask myself if I'm having sex that week. Not necessarily in celebration of Valentine's Day, I just wondering what day I'm having sex that week.
And with who.
First of all, all bitterness aside, I hate that shit. I hate when women get flowers at their job and they fake act all surprised. Annoys me to all hell. Your boyfriend probably called you and for no apparent reason asked for the address to your job last night, and you mean to tell me you didn't know what was going on? You all been probably been together about a year and he never asked you shit about your job before, all of a sudden he's asking your address? The next day, "Oh, my god I'm can't believe he did that!". Anyway.
I turn 27 next week and my mom asked me if was going to get married before I was 30. I said no. She said why. I said "well, in order for me to get married by the time I'm 30, I sort of have to meet him by now." She looked at me like she thought I was lying. What bothered me about this exchange was not the fact that I still don't have a boyfriend, not even the fact that my mother thinks I'm a pathological liar, but the fact that I am officially old enough for the marriage naggging to start. That's late 20's nagging, that's old.
I think the first thing that crossed my mind when people ask me what I'm doing for Valentine's Day. I ask myself if I'm having sex that day. Then I ask myself if I'm having sex that week. Not necessarily in celebration of Valentine's Day, I just wondering what day I'm having sex that week.
And with who.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
The White People are Drawn Together
The white people are drawn together by a force of nature I tell you. I think I can count on one hand the amount of white people that I have met in the past year who are completely unattached, and by unattached I mean not dating anyone. And if they are single, they are single for five minutes, and I mean that literally.
Let me clarify exactly what single really is because some people don't know. Single means not in a romantic relationship of any kind. Dating and fuck buddies are not the same thing. Also, if you are dating someone, the other person has to know that you are in a relationship, too. He/she also must say that you are their boyfriend or girlfriend. Which goes back to my first point, fuck buddy does not mean relationship.
The white people are drawn together to procreate and repopulate this earth. I'm convinced that one cannot be single because some of the species will die out.
There is a running joke at my morning job because out of around 18 people, I'm the only one who is single. There are some crazy mother fuckers that work there, and I'm the one who is single. My boss hired a guy about 2 or 3 months ago (who is attractive, even though he's a little on the chunky side for me) who doesn't seem crazy, but he's single. So the joke ended for a little while. He's is currently living with another girl who works there who already had a boyfriend and dumped him the day she met the new guy. Did I mention that they are living together now? Yeah....
My friend met her boyfriend on the internet a month ago, and they are currently making plans for their wedding (no shit).
Another thing that I've noticed is that when white people break up, the main reason is not cheating or growing apart or money. One person is usually just horribly dumped. I mean dumped, like flat on their ass. The other person may have cheated or the relationship has worn out its welcome, but it never ends over that. Its usually, "I used to love you, but you make me sick now, its over"; and the party who is dumped ends up in the hospital somewhere.
I can't really gage if black people have the same relationship problems from a personal perspective (being that the only real boyfriend that I ever had being gay and all, I'll save that one for another entry), but just from what I've seen its either really good from beginning to end or really bad from beginning to end. No in-between. Its interesting.
Sadly, I've noticed that since I've been blogging I'm getting a deeper understanding as to why I'm alone. I got issues. Who sit there and thinks about this shit...
Let me clarify exactly what single really is because some people don't know. Single means not in a romantic relationship of any kind. Dating and fuck buddies are not the same thing. Also, if you are dating someone, the other person has to know that you are in a relationship, too. He/she also must say that you are their boyfriend or girlfriend. Which goes back to my first point, fuck buddy does not mean relationship.
The white people are drawn together to procreate and repopulate this earth. I'm convinced that one cannot be single because some of the species will die out.
There is a running joke at my morning job because out of around 18 people, I'm the only one who is single. There are some crazy mother fuckers that work there, and I'm the one who is single. My boss hired a guy about 2 or 3 months ago (who is attractive, even though he's a little on the chunky side for me) who doesn't seem crazy, but he's single. So the joke ended for a little while. He's is currently living with another girl who works there who already had a boyfriend and dumped him the day she met the new guy. Did I mention that they are living together now? Yeah....
My friend met her boyfriend on the internet a month ago, and they are currently making plans for their wedding (no shit).
Another thing that I've noticed is that when white people break up, the main reason is not cheating or growing apart or money. One person is usually just horribly dumped. I mean dumped, like flat on their ass. The other person may have cheated or the relationship has worn out its welcome, but it never ends over that. Its usually, "I used to love you, but you make me sick now, its over"; and the party who is dumped ends up in the hospital somewhere.
I can't really gage if black people have the same relationship problems from a personal perspective (being that the only real boyfriend that I ever had being gay and all, I'll save that one for another entry), but just from what I've seen its either really good from beginning to end or really bad from beginning to end. No in-between. Its interesting.
Sadly, I've noticed that since I've been blogging I'm getting a deeper understanding as to why I'm alone. I got issues. Who sit there and thinks about this shit...
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