Yes, I hate Christmas, and for all you mother fuckers who think I am evil for hating Christmas, screw you. Labor day is my holiday.
Being the pessimist that I am, I have always felt that Christmas was rather anti-climatic. You wake up, you open the presents, you thank everyone, and you wait until its time to eat. I guess Hallmark and the malls build up Christmas to be this huge holiday, when in reality, unless your rich or 5 years old its kind of a letdown.
Yes, Christmas is supposed to be the celebration of the birth of Christ, but I heard somewhere that Jesus was actually born on the 28th of December. Yeah, its the season for giving and all that stuff, but when you're grown and have a job, do you ever get anything you really want? Engagement rings don't count because they're more trouble than what they're worth. I mean when you do get enagaged are you actually surprised or in the back of your mind are you going, "Yeah, it took your ass long enough."
In my 20's, I've have never actually had a good Christmas. I actually spend most of it waiting for it to be over so everything can go back to normal. Around this time of year, my mother turns obsessive-compulsive psycho cook and my father turns into distant aloof guy. I actually escaped this year and went to visit my sister up north and two things have immediately been brought to the forefront.
Its quiet up here. My sister and I are very different to say the least. Saying that we're like night and day would involve too much of a comparison because the sun and the moon share the same sky. Her and my brother-in-law can sit around in complete silence, no TV, no radio, no phone, nothing and sort of just be content doing what they do. I'm used to having people screaming in my ear all the time and not sitting still even when I'm off. Never noticed that before. Not until Christmas when was I made to stay in one place.
My family is weird. Most families who are a little on the eccentric side are crazy. They are crazy as in drunk crazy, or cousin who is a hoe crazy, or uncle who likes to fight crazy. My family is "wannabe bougie" crazy. They want so much to be seen as this cultured, dignified, almost snobbish people. But they're not, they are a little ghetto as well as country and they just can't accept that. I would love if people actually sat around drinking and arguing over sports instead of chit-chatting in silence about world affairs. My sister has always been the way she is so I can't hate on her for being herself, but to be honest if I wasn't her sister she would talk about me like a dog.
So in short I hate Christmas, well I have for at least the last 6 or 7 years. But I hope you all are having a very full day of food, loved ones and activites. I got around 5 more hours until this day is over and I will be able to start plotting my escape for next year.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Desperate dot com
I preface this by saying, that yes this a true story, and yes I am ashamed this has come to this point.
So my friend Addam is gay, and everyday he bitches about how he can't get a man or how he hasn't had sex in forever. Since's he gay, he of course has done a lot of meetings over the internet with or without much luck. So I suggest that he try using adult friend finder. The site that is advertised pretty heavily that "adults" use to find "friendship". Okay, okay, a fuck buddy. He joined it with the intention of actually sleeping with someone, that's unless he found someone cute, of course.
Well, the he checked the second day, and he even put his picture on, but only got two responses. When I told him, to be patient, his response was, "why don't you do it bitch. See what kind of responses you get."
So my profile was written as follows:
Wanted: fuck buddy: One hot female that knows how to manuever and perform on the highest sexual levels. I need a man with a good stick to handle this phat hot ass. R you the man, hit me up.
I got 10 hits the next day, without a single picture on my profile.
So you're probably thinking by now, that I just did this and left it be..nope. I have to play things out to have a story to tell. First of all, I must say that there are some sick people in this world, sick. And I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. Its amazing the sick things that people will put pictures of on the internet. So there was this one guy who seemed pretty harmless. His pictures were cute (although one was a picture of dick, but I'm not counting that one). So I talked to him online. Now I'm pretty good at feeling out crazy, so I ask the three basics: he's never been in the military, he just got out of a long term relationship, and he has a steady job. Check ,check, check.
I'm not going to lie. I have never had any relations with a white male before. So I figured it would be the quickest way, so why the hell not.
So I met him and first things first, he looked nothing like his picture. He was way, way skinnier than he was on his picture, and apparently he knows what he was doing with a camera because that picture was a great angle. Now I'm not saying he was ugly, but would you do the skinny guy from Road Trip and Hustle and Flow? Neither would I.
Now sadly, the most disturbing thing about this whole experience was not the fact that he wasn't cute. It was the fact that I had this underlying feeling the whole time that I was obligated to sleep with him. It was like the whole time, he was saying to me, "you know what I'm here for, you know you gotta fuck me, this is what you signed for." I mean, I did sign up for it, it was adult friend finder, not freaking cupid.com. It was disturbing.
No, I didn't have with him.
The next day, I text messaged him and told that this experience was way weirder than I thought it was going to be and I won't be able to go through with it. Too chicken shit to even talk to him. He called me back and I didn't answer. He was pissed. I could hear it in his voice. I actually felt bad, because I initiated the whole thing, I just couldn't be around somebody who I felt obligated to fuck.
So here I am single yet again, but he hasn't stopped calling me since.
So my friend Addam is gay, and everyday he bitches about how he can't get a man or how he hasn't had sex in forever. Since's he gay, he of course has done a lot of meetings over the internet with or without much luck. So I suggest that he try using adult friend finder. The site that is advertised pretty heavily that "adults" use to find "friendship". Okay, okay, a fuck buddy. He joined it with the intention of actually sleeping with someone, that's unless he found someone cute, of course.
Well, the he checked the second day, and he even put his picture on, but only got two responses. When I told him, to be patient, his response was, "why don't you do it bitch. See what kind of responses you get."
So my profile was written as follows:
Wanted: fuck buddy: One hot female that knows how to manuever and perform on the highest sexual levels. I need a man with a good stick to handle this phat hot ass. R you the man, hit me up.
I got 10 hits the next day, without a single picture on my profile.
So you're probably thinking by now, that I just did this and left it be..nope. I have to play things out to have a story to tell. First of all, I must say that there are some sick people in this world, sick. And I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. Its amazing the sick things that people will put pictures of on the internet. So there was this one guy who seemed pretty harmless. His pictures were cute (although one was a picture of dick, but I'm not counting that one). So I talked to him online. Now I'm pretty good at feeling out crazy, so I ask the three basics: he's never been in the military, he just got out of a long term relationship, and he has a steady job. Check ,check, check.
I'm not going to lie. I have never had any relations with a white male before. So I figured it would be the quickest way, so why the hell not.
So I met him and first things first, he looked nothing like his picture. He was way, way skinnier than he was on his picture, and apparently he knows what he was doing with a camera because that picture was a great angle. Now I'm not saying he was ugly, but would you do the skinny guy from Road Trip and Hustle and Flow? Neither would I.
Now sadly, the most disturbing thing about this whole experience was not the fact that he wasn't cute. It was the fact that I had this underlying feeling the whole time that I was obligated to sleep with him. It was like the whole time, he was saying to me, "you know what I'm here for, you know you gotta fuck me, this is what you signed for." I mean, I did sign up for it, it was adult friend finder, not freaking cupid.com. It was disturbing.
No, I didn't have with him.
The next day, I text messaged him and told that this experience was way weirder than I thought it was going to be and I won't be able to go through with it. Too chicken shit to even talk to him. He called me back and I didn't answer. He was pissed. I could hear it in his voice. I actually felt bad, because I initiated the whole thing, I just couldn't be around somebody who I felt obligated to fuck.
So here I am single yet again, but he hasn't stopped calling me since.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Got--dammitt Sasha!!!
I don't know if any of you out there watch Miss Seventeen on MTV. (okay I'm probably the only one). Its a "reality show" about teenage girls competing to be on the cover of seventeen, ala "The Apprentice" for teenage girls. Its a really good concept actually and surprisingly entertaining show.
Well, we all know that reality shows are infamous for not putting black people in the best light...okay, they make us look ghetto, is that better? This one was no better, the first black girl, Leah got kicked off because the security cameras caught her talking about how she wanted to be famous off of this show. The second one, Ashley was fine at first, then completely lost her mind and starting acting ghetto as hell out nowhere and sent herself home. Then, there's Sasha.
I liked Sasha a lot. She was the only girl on that show with some sense. She was mature, she handled conflicts inside the house well, and she managed to go this long in the competition without her hair looking too tore up, sans weave (sniff, sniff). But you see, Sasha does spoken word. She likes doing it. A lot. She did it on the first episode of the show, then the third, then the fourth. And no, it wasn't different pieces of work, it was the same damn poem. It was like Sasha memorized her first spoken word piece ever, and she was so happy. So she liked to perform it every chance she got....and she did. A lot.
Well, they are down to the final three, there is pretty much no competition at this point, I think Sasha is going to win!!! There are never any black winners of any MTV reality shows, they never put black people on the cover of Seventeen (except for Beyonce and Ashanti, but they don't count) and to have a young black girl so far ahead of the competition was just a proud moment for me. But got-dammit Sasha!!!, you just couldn't resist doing that poem one more time did you?
It was obvious they were setting her up. When Sasha offered herself to perform in a room full of makeup people and a musician last week, they were prepping for the musician's show, but she had to show what she can do, she performed, even though nobody asked her to do so. Maybe she should have thought to herself that the producers would take that and run with it. And boy did they.
The girls had to work in the editior's office as assistants, and not only did she perform for an assistant editor's whose call she just fucked up, but she left a whole bunch of people on hold because a "slam poetry show coordinator" was on the phone and she felt the need to show off her skills. When I saw that, I just put my head in my hands. Even Atoosa Rubenstein, the editor who dismissed her, told her that she pretty much had the competition in the bag. I know you need to get your shine on, Sasha, but you were already shining, Sasha, so brightly. Why Sasha why?
As a result, we have dumb ass Jen and insecure Jessica left. Who low and behold, have to give a speech next week for their final task!! On top of being fake as hell, Jen can barely string two sentences together and Jessica wins a lot of challenges, but she's always freaking whining, "I can't do it...I don't have confidence.." Fake bitch. But I digress.
Sasha, I hope for your sake that you knew about the conspiracy that was going on, because you really disappointed me last night; I mean my heart hurt. And for God's sake, go learn another poem.
Well, we all know that reality shows are infamous for not putting black people in the best light...okay, they make us look ghetto, is that better? This one was no better, the first black girl, Leah got kicked off because the security cameras caught her talking about how she wanted to be famous off of this show. The second one, Ashley was fine at first, then completely lost her mind and starting acting ghetto as hell out nowhere and sent herself home. Then, there's Sasha.
I liked Sasha a lot. She was the only girl on that show with some sense. She was mature, she handled conflicts inside the house well, and she managed to go this long in the competition without her hair looking too tore up, sans weave (sniff, sniff). But you see, Sasha does spoken word. She likes doing it. A lot. She did it on the first episode of the show, then the third, then the fourth. And no, it wasn't different pieces of work, it was the same damn poem. It was like Sasha memorized her first spoken word piece ever, and she was so happy. So she liked to perform it every chance she got....and she did. A lot.
Well, they are down to the final three, there is pretty much no competition at this point, I think Sasha is going to win!!! There are never any black winners of any MTV reality shows, they never put black people on the cover of Seventeen (except for Beyonce and Ashanti, but they don't count) and to have a young black girl so far ahead of the competition was just a proud moment for me. But got-dammit Sasha!!!, you just couldn't resist doing that poem one more time did you?
It was obvious they were setting her up. When Sasha offered herself to perform in a room full of makeup people and a musician last week, they were prepping for the musician's show, but she had to show what she can do, she performed, even though nobody asked her to do so. Maybe she should have thought to herself that the producers would take that and run with it. And boy did they.
The girls had to work in the editior's office as assistants, and not only did she perform for an assistant editor's whose call she just fucked up, but she left a whole bunch of people on hold because a "slam poetry show coordinator" was on the phone and she felt the need to show off her skills. When I saw that, I just put my head in my hands. Even Atoosa Rubenstein, the editor who dismissed her, told her that she pretty much had the competition in the bag. I know you need to get your shine on, Sasha, but you were already shining, Sasha, so brightly. Why Sasha why?
As a result, we have dumb ass Jen and insecure Jessica left. Who low and behold, have to give a speech next week for their final task!! On top of being fake as hell, Jen can barely string two sentences together and Jessica wins a lot of challenges, but she's always freaking whining, "I can't do it...I don't have confidence.." Fake bitch. But I digress.
Sasha, I hope for your sake that you knew about the conspiracy that was going on, because you really disappointed me last night; I mean my heart hurt. And for God's sake, go learn another poem.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
End of year stuff...
I hate the end of the year when your all reflective and shit. Its interesting to think about, but its really boring to read after a while. Hell, they're my thoughts and even I get bored reading them, so I'll make two quick short points and move on to something else.
1. My friend Addam told me yesterday that I'm proabably not going to get married and if i do, it will probably be for a short time. Depressing thing is, that I believe he's right.
2. I would rather sleep on the street and eat roaches rather than stay in my current places of employment for another year, A guy just got fired at my part-time because he stunk so bad too many people were going home sick. I shit you not.
I guess I'll talk about the grammy nominations....
I am a bit of a music snob. I'm as into music almost as much as I am into movies, so if my opinions seem a little strong, its because I have no life and there is nothing else to feel strongly about at the moment...except for porn, I'm really picky about that too...
Mariah Carey got nominated for 8, big surprise. The grammy's do this every year, they nominate the artist who is the hot shit for a bunch of awards, they put them in the same category as a legendary musician who you didn't even know released an album this year, and a bunch of other people who are also big selling artists for the year and the random old ass person wins.
Last year, it was Ray Charles, and this year Paul McCartney. Did anybody know or care that Paul McCartney released an album this year? I didn't. Did I give a shit? Nope. But he's going to win that Grammy I can tell you that. They did this to Mariah before you know. I believe Fantasy got about 8 or 9 nominations one year, and Joni Mitchell won. She didn't get shit. She'll win the R&B awards.
And Beyonce (hater alert), that bitch got nominated by herself, for that Wishing on a Star song, it was on the Roll Bounce soundtrack. I love how eonline says she has 6 nominations, but 5 of them are with Destiny's Child. Those other 2 just can't get break can they? (Look at me, 'the other two) just can't get a break can they? Random. Kanye, well, Kanye's attitude sucks, but he works hard, I said this before, but he needs to accept the fact he's going to only get rap grammy's, I know he's going to set the audtiorium on fire when he doesn't win, so start drawing the blueprint for your atomic bomb now, Kanye.
Kelly Clarkson was robbed I tell you, robbed!!! Bitch had 5 top ten singles, and she only got two nominations, bullshit ones at that. So was Madonna, I know she put out her album too late to be considered, but still had to give that album props. Damn you, Madonna, for making an album of songs I cannot freaking stop sing, damn you!!! Moving on..
I love Gwen Stefani, but Hollaback Girl, song of the year, and album of the year, nuh uh. I understand pop grammys, but for real ones? No.
John Legend is extremely talented, he should be nominated because he's the real deal. He's good, but I think his album's a little overrated.
Who am I forgetting, U2? meh, they won't win, they had their year two years ago.
1. My friend Addam told me yesterday that I'm proabably not going to get married and if i do, it will probably be for a short time. Depressing thing is, that I believe he's right.
2. I would rather sleep on the street and eat roaches rather than stay in my current places of employment for another year, A guy just got fired at my part-time because he stunk so bad too many people were going home sick. I shit you not.
I guess I'll talk about the grammy nominations....
I am a bit of a music snob. I'm as into music almost as much as I am into movies, so if my opinions seem a little strong, its because I have no life and there is nothing else to feel strongly about at the moment...except for porn, I'm really picky about that too...
Mariah Carey got nominated for 8, big surprise. The grammy's do this every year, they nominate the artist who is the hot shit for a bunch of awards, they put them in the same category as a legendary musician who you didn't even know released an album this year, and a bunch of other people who are also big selling artists for the year and the random old ass person wins.
Last year, it was Ray Charles, and this year Paul McCartney. Did anybody know or care that Paul McCartney released an album this year? I didn't. Did I give a shit? Nope. But he's going to win that Grammy I can tell you that. They did this to Mariah before you know. I believe Fantasy got about 8 or 9 nominations one year, and Joni Mitchell won. She didn't get shit. She'll win the R&B awards.
And Beyonce (hater alert), that bitch got nominated by herself, for that Wishing on a Star song, it was on the Roll Bounce soundtrack. I love how eonline says she has 6 nominations, but 5 of them are with Destiny's Child. Those other 2 just can't get break can they? (Look at me, 'the other two) just can't get a break can they? Random. Kanye, well, Kanye's attitude sucks, but he works hard, I said this before, but he needs to accept the fact he's going to only get rap grammy's, I know he's going to set the audtiorium on fire when he doesn't win, so start drawing the blueprint for your atomic bomb now, Kanye.
Kelly Clarkson was robbed I tell you, robbed!!! Bitch had 5 top ten singles, and she only got two nominations, bullshit ones at that. So was Madonna, I know she put out her album too late to be considered, but still had to give that album props. Damn you, Madonna, for making an album of songs I cannot freaking stop sing, damn you!!! Moving on..
I love Gwen Stefani, but Hollaback Girl, song of the year, and album of the year, nuh uh. I understand pop grammys, but for real ones? No.
John Legend is extremely talented, he should be nominated because he's the real deal. He's good, but I think his album's a little overrated.
Who am I forgetting, U2? meh, they won't win, they had their year two years ago.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)