Okay, so I'm all talk no action. In order to put this plan into action, I guess I would need to go out on a actual date. Yeah, easier said than done I suppose.
I tried today. I went to Target, and I tried to flirt. My efforts proved to be unsuccessful.
I'll make a confession here, and only here. I haven't been out on a actual date since May 2010. Eek!
Some of you may be sticking your finger down your throat faking a dry heaving sound. Saying, "So what! Nobody's ever asked me out on a date". Believe me, you have every right to be upset. So, I feel this need to actually explain myself.
I had two back to back "relationships" last year and the year before. One lasted around a year, the second around two months. The year long relationship with (let's just call him Bobby) was my first actual post relationship after the disaster with my "ex" (just do a search for Loverboy in this blog and you'll be filled in). He was a disaster. I met him when I got laid off from my job, and figured I need a boy around so I wouldn't feel like a total loser. I was sitting in my car feeling sorry for myself, when I saw this cute dude in a UCLA jacket, walking across the street, and I figured hell why not. So i did the classy move, honked my horn at him, and waved like an idiot until he walked over to my car. When he came over, I was surprised when he seemed like a articulate, sweet, humble guy. So I gave him my number on a piece of paper, I asked for his but he said he had no phone right now but he'd call when he could. Oookay.
He did call. He was sweet again. A couple of times after that more of the same. We made a date, I was excited. We ended up having coffee and he even tagged along with me to one of my annoying ass acting seminars. His car broke down and I ended up having to drive him home. He apologized for kissing me on the cheek. Sweet.
Long story short, Bobby ended up being a total loser about 3 months after that. It was pretty much done mentally for me when he told me that since I was faithfully getting a unemployment check every week, then I should be be supporting him because I made more money. The only reason he stayed around after that is because I was bored on the weekends. I will be referring back to Bobby periodically as an example of what not to do when trying new experiences. It was a harrowing experience.
The next guy, Julian (his real name, I'm tired) ended up meeting one night out with my cousin. Pretty normal, he was staring, he was kind of cute although not really my type, so I just went over there. He took me too lunch after church the next day, and everything seemed okay. There were flashes of crazy, but I had seen worse. I figured I was overreacting. Julian was a pretty intimidating guy. I know some girls are really into that, but it was intimidating to me too. There were flashes of crazy but nothing really concrete. The rub came when he I decided to test my guy instinct and not call him for one night just to see how he'd react. It was at around 9:30 p.m., that he called yelling, "What the hell are you doing? Who the hell are you fucking?." Needless to say it didn't last long after that.
If you want dating advice, I'll give you great dating advice. Because after the countless bad relationships that I've been involved in, I can tell you exactly what not to do. Jesus, I can probably communicate it in Morse Code.
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