Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Apexaphobia

I'm weird, I know this. But after today I realize I have a psychological conditon. I don't know the proper term for it. But I'll give my own name, lets call it Apexaphobia. What is this term mean do you ask? It means obsession of one's height.

What is the big deal about my height? I ask myself that every time I get out the tape measure, at 26-years-old, once a month. My whole life I have had this obsession with being tall, to the point where I lie about how tall I am, all the time. On a good day, I'm 5'7, on a bad one, about 5'6 and three quarters. That's a boring height, everybody's freaking 5'7. And other people do not help with this obsession because when they ask me my height, and I look them straight in the eye and tell them 5'8, they either believe me or disagree and tell me I look taller. I have long legs and big feet, so that tricks people. It also doesn't help that my sister who has been 5'11 and thin for as long as I can remember, and my family are always commenting on how tall and striking she is...bitch.

I believe it started with this video as well:




Remember that shit? I remember Janet standing in front of her dancers with her six-pack, looking tall and commanding attention. I distinctly remember telling my mother that when I grew up I wanted to be 5'7 just like Janet Jackson. Now that 5'7 had arrived, I realize should have asked for 5'9, and several years later I was crushed to find out Janet's only 5'4.

If you get into the boring psychological reasoning as to why I want to be tall, I deduced that people treat you differently when you're tall. Ugly men actually get somewhat of a pass if they are tall. You have to be tall to be a model. Strangers are amazed by tall people. Being tall has always seemed very elegant and very regal to me; no matter how attractive and unattractive the person is. When they stand up straight, they have an air about them that makes them seem slightly less trifling than the rest of us. You'll always get some sort of attention for being tall, if you don't get attention for anything else.

Adding to my neurosis, I think that inch that I grew when I came back from California is gone. I measured myself and I believe I finally made it to my apex of 5'8. I think its gone, I think I shrunk and I'm back to barely 5'7 again. I wonder why I don't have a boyfriend.

4 comments:

a said...

I'm pretty sure you're taller than me, and I'm 5'7". At least, when the doctor measured me two years ago I was that tall. And I was absolutely bummed because I thought I was 5'8" all this time.

trejan29 said...

um, please don't encourage her delusion. She's been 5'8 almost 5'9 since we were sophomores in high school. She has taken a momentous step in admitting she's not even 5'7.

cookie21204 said...

see what did i tell you modern temptress. Nobody believes me when I tell them my real height so why should I deny them the truth. Thank you um, and check your e-mail.

trejan29 said...

Forgive me :). You can be as tall as you want.