During one of many of the sleepless nights this week, my guy friend and I were having a disscussion about 1:00 in the morning about women. Long story short, he was fooling around with this woman, a black woman,decided she was crazy and didn't want to deal with her anymore and she got pissed. She's a attorney mind you, single, no kids, and drives a Mercedes, and his broke ass dropped her. Why did he drop her you ask? He said she was crazy. So crazy in fact, that he told me that she literally calls him every hour on the hour, house phone and cell phone, and leaves voicemails cussing him out. He let me hear a couple of them, and yeah, she's cracked.
This is going to sound really bad, and lord forgive me for saying this, but my mother acts like that. On the outside looking in she's the sweetest, most polite, and mannerable woman you could ever meet. She's a substitite teacher, and has to turn down jobs because everybody likes her so much. But when it comes to my father, she is ruthless. She becomes this unbelieveably jealous, horribly insecure, possesive nightmare. When it comes to my father, if she sees anyone posing a threat (and by threat, I mean someone my father actually talks to on a regular basis) she pounces like a lion to get them out of his life. Sadly, she even does this to her own kids. My father had to get a seperate cell phone that she doesn't even know about just so she won't eavesdrop on him or call back the numbers on his bill.
Continuing with my previous discussion, he said that he can count on one hand the number of black women he has met in his life without an attitude. My best friend who I've known since I was 13, have a conversation on a regular basis on how we have not really made any black female friends in our adult lives. All the black females that I am friends with I'm either related to or went to school with.
Why is that?
I'm not going to generalize and say that all black women are bitches, because they're not. I love my friends, and they don't act like that at all. My sister, for example does really well. She has a great husband, lives very comfortably and is generally satisfied with her life. But my dear sister, bless her heart, is by her own admission a snobby bitch, and about 90% of her female friends are white. I asked her why and she said that every black female that she tried to befriend in her adult life fell out with her because of a man, or they became somewhat jealous and needy because she was more successful than them. I hate to admit but I think she's right. I think this because I have a group of cousins in her age group that live where I live, who wince when I talk about her.
I don't know what to think about this, I hate making the generalization that all black women have attitudes because they don't. But I wonder do all you successful females feel this way or what?
4 comments:
Hmmm Women of all races can be catty, jealous and insecure. As for black women I've befriended and have been befriended by black women in my adult life some for just the sake of friendship and others I discovered had ulterior motives.
No matter what folks need to really analzye who their friends really are and who they can count on.
It's unfortunate, but when you become an adult it's just harder in general to make friends. Real friends regardless of their race. As to the black woman thing you know how I feel. I almost feel like a man because I really don't get them.
My experiences have been somewhat different than your friends but I do have to say that ya'll tend to find controversy and drama where it otherwise didnt exist.
I'm a succesful black woman, as are my 7 closest friends (a doctor, a logisitician, a make-up artist, a vice president of an IT company, 2 lawyers and a stay-at-home mom.) Each friend has a distinct personality. All of them can be bitchy, some more than others, and all of them can be sweet.I think the reason many black women seem bitchy or enjoy playing the bitchy role is this...we were raised to compete and be the best at something. Some of us use a bitchy attitude to mask low-self esteem. Some use it to seem like they are as strong as their male peers. Some are reacting to years of neglect and abuse and of course, some are just bitches. Every group has them, but I think that African Americna women have so much to prove and so much on our plates that some of us just have funky attitudes, or we pretend to have funky attitudes as a self preservation measure.
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