Stupid Stuff about Me

I want to thank my friend Anne-Marie, because I totally stole this off her myspace.
Feel free to copy and steal at your own risk.

What is the best way to get over someone?
sleep with someone else

What makeup do you wear on a daily basis?
carmex

What did you do today?
drank about two cups of coffee, attended two jobs but I don’t’ really remember anything else.

If you could eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
pizza

What curse word do you use the most?
probably fuck.

Do you own an iPod?
yes

Who on your Myspace " top 8 " do you talk to the most?
there are only seven people on my thing, so this question is irrelevant

What time is your alarm clock set for?
8:30, but it’s an hour and a half too fast so I can freak myself out every morning

Have you ever bid for something on ebay?
yes

Do you wear flip-flops even when its cold outside?
no, I’m black.

Where do you buy your groceries from?
walmart and/or target

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take it.

What was the last movie you watched?
in the movie theatre mission impossible 3 at home on cable, probably sky high

Do any of your friends have children?
Yes.

If you won the lottery, whats the first thing you would buy?
One way Plane ticket to LA

Has anyone ever called you lazy?
yes, my mother does a lot.

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
simply sleep the dollar store brand on a rough day.

What CD is currently in your CD player?
Michael Jackson, off the wall

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
skim

Has anyone told you a secret this week?
no. most of the time its something I don’t want nor need to know.

When was the last time someone hit on you?
this afternoon at my mailbox.

What did you have for dinner?
healthy choice meal, country fried chicken

What is your biggest fear?
That leftover pouch thing that you get when you have a baby.

Like dark gray or light brown?
Both

Can you whistle?
yes. Not through my teeth though.

What is your favorite Christmas / winter movie?
Friday after Next, (ashamed) and Bad Santa

Do you make your own jewelery?
Nope

Have you ever participated in a protest?
no

Who was the last person to call you?
My friend Addam

What is your favorite ride at an amusement park?
That agoraphobia thing at Six Flags. The one where they take you 200 feet in the air very slowly and drop you like a pin.

What is something you must do everyday?
Drink coffee probably.

Have you ever dated one of your best friends?
By dated do you mean have sex with?

What area code are you in right now?
too embarrased to say

How big is your local mall?
Small. Both one level. With no banana republic. Shitty.

What is your job title?
Field Supervisor for one. Assistant Project Coordinator for another.

What do you miss most?
Shopping.

Would you ever sky dive?
Maybe, I’m pretty sure I’d have to be on something.

What are you allergic to?
Air. My allergies get worse every year.

What is your biggest regret?
Not dumping my ex-boyfriend first.

Have you ever had Jamba Juice?
No.

When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?
Saturday or Sunday? When my best friend and I were talking about how much of a bitch Oprah is.

What show do you know every line to?
Probably every Cosby show episode, and Friday after Next. Does that count?

Do you own any band t-shirts?
no

What is your favorite candle scent?
I don’t know. Vanilla maybe?

how many aunts and uncles do you have?
That’s an even harder question. Estimate maybe 15 total?

Where was your last plane ride?
From LA to here.

Do you crack your knuckles?
No. People who do should be shot.

How many chairs are at your dining room table?
What is this dining room table you speak of?

What is your favorite salad dressing?
Ceaser

Do you read for fun?
Sometimes.

Can you speak any languages other than English?
Nope.

Where is your cell phone?,
Right next to this keyboard.

Do you do your own dishes?
I throw away my paper plates

What color is your bedroom painted?
White.

Have you ever cried in public?
Yes. The last time I can remember was when I found out that my paycheck was going to be late.

Which do you make: wishes or plans?
Plans.

Are you always trying to learn new things?
When I’m in the mood.

Do you like to go to Wyoming?
No.

Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
Hell Yes.

Can you skip rocks?
No. People actually do that?

Have you ever been to Jamaica?
Nope.

What do you like to snack on at the movie theatres?
Chocolate covered peanuts or nachos

Who is your favorite teacher?
Probably my history teacher sophomore year of college. The only A in college I’ve actually earned.

Have you ever dated someone out of your race?
Once again this dating notion you keep bringing up, so funny.

What is the weather like?
hot and humid

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
No. A couple on the arms maybe.

Do you have an online journal?
Blog. If that counts.

Did you ever play Capture the Flag in school?
What the fuck is that.

Take any music classes?
Yes. They sucked though.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
I do a tummy/side combo.

Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
I had a little moment with the guy who made my sandwich at subway today.

When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Don’t remember.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Amaretto sours.

If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Derek. At least that what my mom says.

Do you like your living arrangement?
Yes, right now.

Has anyone ever called you spoiled?
Yes. I get that more than I should actually.

What is your mother and father's hometowns?
Sawyerville and Marion, Alabama. Respectively.

Did you ever go to the same school as your parents?
No.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
7.5.

How much is gas where you live right now?
$2.71

What was the last thing to scare you?
When the tree hit my window a couple of nights ago. At least I thought it was a tree.

Do you own a Playstation?
No. Video game consoles will never enter my house. They're dick killers.

How many times have you brushed your teeth today?
Once

What album did you buy last?
Michael Jackson, Off the wall.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Shit, maybe 20

Are your days full and fast-paced?
no.

Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class?
Once I believe.

Is there carpet, wood or tile in the room you're currently in?
Carpet.

Were you a "planned" child?
My sister and I are 6.5 years apart to the day. You do the math.

What are you doing this weekend?
Attempt to see X-men if its not sold out.

What are you doing NEXT weekend?
Please.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
28, God, help me.

2 Quick Tidbits: The Mini Post

Tyra Banks is such a stupid ass cunt I swear to God. She hates black women. Eva doesn't count because she's fucking Missy Elliot, like I said before. Naima is biracial, and we haven't seen Naima anywhere have we. Tyra had the nerve to tell the winner of ANTM, Danielle last night when she won, on camera "We're going to get you those speech lessons girl." She kept telling her how ghetto she was, but she was by far the most likeable one on that show. Told the girl she needed to close her gap, when the other ugmos on that show didn't get any other criticism. Then snubbed her when Danielle went to hug her, she hugged Joanie. Fucking Bitch.

I don't know if you all have heard about Paris Hilton and her little friend dogging Lindsey Lohan out in front of the paparazzi cameras (not that anyone should care, especially me). But to summarize, she basically whispered in her nasty little friend's ear duragatory things about her vagina, so her obviously coked up friend could be stupid enough to say that on camera. Its really disgusting and disturbing for some reason. And as I much as I hate Lindsey Lohan, it makes me feel a little sorry for her which is a feat within itself.

And I heard that she is the one who made Matt Leinhart go so low in the draft, they threatened to not sign him at all unless he stopped fucking her. Fucking bitch.

The Bitter Blog the Sequel

I have always been very wary to write about college, being it was the pinnacle of my ever present self-esteem issues. So I'll just go about it, one issue at a time, easiest issue first.

I was looking through some crap the other day, and I found some pictures from when I was in college.

You see in college, I had kind of an identity crisis(to put it nicely), because I had absolutely no play at all whatsoever. I had plans to get a pager, and I was mentally preparing myself for all of the dick I was going to get because I was a young freshman, I had just broken up with a boyfriend, I garnered some self confidence for the first time in my life, and I was ready for all the mens lining up to see me. Needless to say, that did not happen... At all... Nothing...for two years.

For a while, especially during junior year of college when I had my first "hookup". I still wondered why in the hell no boys even so much as smiled at me for that long.

Well, I came across some pictures from those years, and now I know why.

Its different when you look back at stuff and you look bad because of the clothes you were wearing were outdated, or your haircut is out of style, even with these things you can still look cute. But I just looked bad. Sadly, that was a picture that was taken when I was getting ready to go out; so that was supposed to be a good day. I look worse then on my best day then than on my worse day now.

I can't really describe how my body looked. I wasn't so much fat as I was dispropotioned. AKA My butt gets so big you can see the outline when I'm facing forward. I almost forgot it can do that.

My bottom half has always been bigger than my top. Just not that much bigger.

Don't get me started on the clothes. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just a black tube top and some tight gray pants. But I believe it was the cheapest tube top and gray pants that were in existence. I was a broke college student, true enough, but I know I could afford to shell out what, $30 to get one decent pair of going out pants as opposed to the $7 dollar ones I was wearing in that picture. They even had a black racing stripe on the side, gross.

The hair, I don't feel so bad about the hair because there were really no good black beauticians in that town, and I couldn't go home every week like everybody else and get my hair done since I live so far away, so I had to work with what I had. Still, it doesn't make it right.

I guess my point as much as I bitch about how look now, or have my ugly days, I believe I have indeed come a long way, stylewise anyway. So I guess that counts for something.

The Bitter Blog

I'm seriously thinking about changing the name of this blog to The Bitter Blog, because it seems that's how everything seems to come out when I write it; whether I want to or not. But I'm pretty sure someone took that name.

So I'm doing a lot better than I have in weeks. I've been getting a lot more sleep, I've been exercising as well as eating better. I've even accpeted my fate of moving back home in (gasp) 1 month and a half. Usually when you get your shit together mentally, you start to feel a little better about yourself, you start being less bitter .

But if you've been reading my entries long enough, something has to come along and to completely fuck my world up.

So I was standing at the coffee shop this morning, like I do every single morning getting my coffee, when an really cute white guy comes in and stands behind me. He wasn't like a "oh, I have to have you" cute, he was that "oh, he's really cute and look away and not think about it anymore" cute.

The little coffee shop girl is really nice, so I can't really say anything bad about her... okay I'm bitter so I will, she ain't all that cute. She aight. But I got to witness in action this dude physically becoming her new boyfriend within the span of 5 minutes. I was standing literally right in between them, so much that I can feel him telepathically pushing my ass out the way so that he can get to her.

The conversation started something like this.

"Hey you used to work on the cafe on the strip right?"
"yeah,"
"I remember you."
"I like it much better over here."
"so what year are you..."

Blah, Blah. This infuriates me for two reasons. The first being that I swear to god, white people who attractive are never single. They overlap. They're with one, and with another before the other is over. Its just so damn easy for them.

Two, I really believe my mother is starting to think I'm a lesbian. And to be honest, I can't really blame her. The boys I have dated have been tragic, to be polite, and being officially almost 30, there is no hope in sight at all for that grandchild. Not even close. On top of that, I don't give two shits about how I look at all anymore. I wear braids all the time, I never wear makeup anymore, and don't even ask the last time I purchased or wore a skirt or a dress.

I swear, I cannot remember the last guy who tried to talk to me who (a) attempted to carry on a normal conversation, and (not or) (b)talked to me when I wasn't turned around or bent over.

True story, dude standing directly behind me offered to put pay to put air in my tires, but I happened to be completely bent over putting them in myself at the time.

I'm usually pretty okay about not having a boyfriend, but thing that drives you to insanity is you see how easy it is. Just talk. Have something in common. Carry on a decent conversation. And don't stare at my butt the whole time your doing it. That's all I ask.

Jesus, people. Pretend to want to get to know, me. Pretend not to stare at my ass. Pretend I don't even have one. Don't look at me like an alien when I open my mouth to speak in complete sentences. That's all I ask.

The Plight of the (my) Black Woman's Hair

This post does not apply to the black women with natural hair, natrually curly hair(or good hair to be more ghetto), or black women who know how to do their own hair, I'm speaking directly to women with short to medium length hair, who has to make her way to the beauty shop every two weeks, or its a trifiling nasty mess

My number one insecurity by far is my hair. Its thin, its short, and it breaks when the wind blows too hard. My entire life has been an uphill battle dealing with my hair. I have also struggled with the reality that I do not have long hair. A fact, to this day, that I still have yet to accept. I have the type of hair that I literally have to do something to every day, whether I have to roll it up or curl it. The wrap and go, or the throwing it back in a ponytail is just not an option for me.

I was traumatized as a little girl by my aunt, who is a licensed beautician, who my mother dragged me and my sister to every two weeks like clockwork to her shop. When you get to be about 11 or 12, and your mom doesn't do your hair and she lets you get that first perm, your life changes. You realize at this moment, that your hair is going to be more important that it has ever been. If it looks bad, people are going to tease you about it, if it looks good everybody's going to tell you. Well, I got my first relaxer and my hair grew like a weed. 7th grade I think it was. It was long for a good 6 to 9 months, until my aunt decided it was time for a trim. Then two weeks later it she said I needed another. My hair hasn't been the same since.

I remember when Lenell Page came up to me and said, "Damn, your hair's short, it used to be long." Just stick a dagger in my throat why don't you.

My parents, or my father, are not one for the ethnic hairstyles, like cornrows and braids, he felt they looked stereotypical, so I wasn't allowed to get any or have them in my hair. Even in college, my father told me "if I catch you with braids, you cannot live here while you have them." So get braids so my hair can grow out, or be homeless. Hmmmm.

I realized a little later in life, that my aunt, cannot do hair to save her life. My mother for years brainwashed me into thinking she could. I kept going to her for so long because my mother made me. My sister also has thin, short hair so I know my theories aren't crazy. When I was really broke and didn't have a job about three years ago, I went to her again so that she can give me perms, my hair was breaking really bad becuase of all the stress I was going through and said I needed a trim, to which I quickly replied no. With my-can't-hold-an-opinion to-myself-to-save my-life mother was standing there. She said "Let Ann give you a trim, honey. It looks really bad, and its not like you can afford anyone else.", and she turned and worked her voodoo magic on my aunt as well. Stupid ass me, said fine. Its scissors, not a razor, it is really breaking badly, so fine, I thought to myself. When she was done trimming, I was literally almost bald from above my ears down, and she did it completely with scissors so it was crooked. I'm starting to flinch, so I'll stop talking about this now.

I am currently on a hair stike, because I'm still in this hellhole, and have to move back home. Stress broke my hair a little so I am currently wearing cornrows, since I don't have the time or the patience for somebody to braid my hair for 7 hours. I acutally found a shop within walking distance to my house, that is really cheap. So I made my first appointment. Girl was late, I was on my way to work, so in turn I was late. No big deal, it happens.

Second, time, I make my appointment at 8:00 on a Monday since they were "booked" on Saturday. I show up no one's there. 30 minutes later, no one. Finally I harass the foremen who are working there to find a call phone number because I am pissed. They don't even have a phone number on their contract to their building. I can't pull a comb through my hair, I'm fucked.

So this is why I went to my aunt for so long, black beauticians across the board have issues. Excuse me, the best black beauticians have issues. You want your hair done, you work on their time not yours, don't get there on time neither, because they will call you and tell you they're going to be late, if at all. You know they're good, so they know you'll come back. Sadly that girl who stood me up yesterday only charges 25 dollars and can do my whole head in less than a hour.

I need to make an appointment with her next week when she gets back.