Sorry I haven't written very much. I know that this is supposed to be a dating blog, and I was really excited about the idea at first. The excitement quickly wanes when you realize that there is no material for you to write about. No experiences to draw on really to draw on to give invaluable, life changing advice. No men who really speak to you or pay attention to you. You know, the small things.
Here's an idea that you all can discuss amongst yourselves. Is it wrong that I stopped caring and stopped trying? Not necessarily in a give up on life sort of way, but more so in a it happens when it happens sort of way.
I'll give you just a little background. I've recently achieved a high state of clarity in a couple of weeks as far as my "personal" and professional life, and I have decided to surrender to my own epiphanies.
I don't know if I've ever talked about a co-worker that I had a crush on. Well, at least the one I thought I had a crush on. Anyway, I have to work very closely with this guy roughly for the last year and half. I thought he was the nicest, sweetest, guy ever, but he had a girlfriend. I knew that they were having problems, and I thought maybe, when they finally broke up that he would realize that I was the one that he wanted to be with all along and we would be together and ride off into the sunset.
Yeah, I was delusional as hell with that one.
I really have this bad habit of wanting people to like me who I don't necessarily like. He must lust for me in dreams at night all while I don't really give a shit about them one way or another. It's very narcissistic and self-involved, but it's such a boost to the ego.
This was the case with him.
Yeah, he has good qualities. But honestly I don't see myself waiting by the phone on baited breath for him to call me. He's funny, but he's not funny in the way that it plays off people. He's more "me, me, me, look at me" funny. Not cute, and gets old. He's short and kind of fat. I don't mind when guys are out of shape, but there are qualifications on that. If you're out of shape it needs to bother you a little bit, or because you're so busy focusing on other wonderful, meaningful things that you neglect things like your weight. Strive to be the best possible you. Basically if you're fat and say, "fuck it, I'm just big." I hate that.
He wouldn't be down with my sometime diva girl ways. At all. And he would hate my friends. He kind of talks at me and doesn't really have any interest in getting to know me on a personal level outside of work. I can go on.
I came to this conclusion when he actually broke up with girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't care. Oh, yeah, and I'm leaving that job in two weeks. Still don't care.
Yeah, and I got a new job. Got off my ass, prayed, and got a new job. and I'm writing again, as evidenced here.
As far as dating goes, I saw someone I knew get dressed up to go out on date the other day. She seemed like she was going to have fun.
I'm so pathetic.
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