The White Girl Diet

So you are a woman at the gym, have you ever wondered when you're sweating it out on your elliptical machine with the towel around your neck, you're done 45 minutes later and all that you have to look forward to for you dinner is a lovely, filling, lean cuisine meal? Determined to get back in those size 10's that used to slide upon you once upon a time? While next to you, you see this size 2 white girl running at top speed on the treadmill next you, she seems to be training for the marathon while at the same time she's talking on her cell phone and looking for her pack of cigarettes. Do you notice that a lot of white girls seem to be this way, at least the ones who work out? Well, ladies, they follow a special program only known to their kind, and can only be followed by their kind. There's a possibility that it may work for you too, but you have to be very careful to follow the rules for the special program known as the white girl diet.

Let me explain why this special program is hard for the sisters to follow. By nature, most of us are a little thicker, and a lot of us like and the men like it too; so when we work out we always have it in the back of our mind not to lose too much weight, because we still want to keep our shape. You wanna be on the white girl diet, you goal needs to be not to become too anorexic. Well, maybe just a little bit....Also, by nature, we sisters like to eat. Eating is great, we love food. Nope, on the white girl diet, food is necessary to live and that's about it. Now that you know the two basic rules, we now proceed to the white girl diet.

1. Drink 6-9 diet cokes a day.
White women love the diet coke. Personally, I hate it, I tried to make myself like and it tastes like dirt. With diet coke in surplus, you get the sweet taste and the caffeine high, two wondefully unhealthy ways to suppress your appetite. All of this, with no calories. The more you drink, the less you taste.

2. Make friends with smoking.
Even with their physical gym prowess, a lot of these white girls smoke...a lot. Smoking actually raises your metabolism and suppresses your appetite. But the white girls tend to do it in excess, so it prematurely ages you and makes you sound like a man. On top of the increased chances for lung disease and yellow teeth. But hey, if you want to make that gut go down with a quickness, puff away.

3. If you have to eat, eat subway.
Now I admit, I love me some subway. I really love it since I found out that 3 footlong sandwiches have about as many calories as a Big Mac. So when the average white girl starts to feel faint and they realize that they have run out of Diet Coke,they run in herds to subway. But you must keep in mind that, this is the only item of food that you may have per day. And if you don't plan on eating tomorrow, hell, splurge on chips.

4. Alcohol
White girls drink like fish, especially the really little girls. Ever wonder why? Because all the calories that they get per day comes mostly from alcohol. I believe a shot equals about 200 calories, so you can have six and a subway sandwich and you have enough to maintain your weight. And you know, you can forego that subway sandwich if you have a big night out planned. You can possibly bump it up to eight shots.

Take these tips into account along with 3 hours per day at the gym, you can pull a Faith Evans and get down to that unattainable size 4 that you thought that you would never see.