I have always been very wary to write about college, being it was the pinnacle of my ever present self-esteem issues. So I'll just go about it, one issue at a time, easiest issue first.
I was looking through some crap the other day, and I found some pictures from when I was in college.
You see in college, I had kind of an identity crisis(to put it nicely), because I had absolutely no play at all whatsoever. I had plans to get a pager, and I was mentally preparing myself for all of the dick I was going to get because I was a young freshman, I had just broken up with a boyfriend, I garnered some self confidence for the first time in my life, and I was ready for all the mens lining up to see me. Needless to say, that did not happen... At all... Nothing...for two years.
For a while, especially during junior year of college when I had my first "hookup". I still wondered why in the hell no boys even so much as smiled at me for that long.
Well, I came across some pictures from those years, and now I know why.
Its different when you look back at stuff and you look bad because of the clothes you were wearing were outdated, or your haircut is out of style, even with these things you can still look cute. But I just looked bad. Sadly, that was a picture that was taken when I was getting ready to go out; so that was supposed to be a good day. I look worse then on my best day then than on my worse day now.
I can't really describe how my body looked. I wasn't so much fat as I was dispropotioned. AKA My butt gets so big you can see the outline when I'm facing forward. I almost forgot it can do that.
My bottom half has always been bigger than my top. Just not that much bigger.
Don't get me started on the clothes. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just a black tube top and some tight gray pants. But I believe it was the cheapest tube top and gray pants that were in existence. I was a broke college student, true enough, but I know I could afford to shell out what, $30 to get one decent pair of going out pants as opposed to the $7 dollar ones I was wearing in that picture. They even had a black racing stripe on the side, gross.
The hair, I don't feel so bad about the hair because there were really no good black beauticians in that town, and I couldn't go home every week like everybody else and get my hair done since I live so far away, so I had to work with what I had. Still, it doesn't make it right.
I guess my point as much as I bitch about how look now, or have my ugly days, I believe I have indeed come a long way, stylewise anyway. So I guess that counts for something.
2 comments:
I recently found my freshman ID picture from college. I just gazed at it in slack jawed horror and put it in my wallet. As much as I think I need to loose weight now, my God. You can barely see any background because my face is so fat. WTF. I'm looking at it right now. The horror, the absolute horror.
I remember my first day of non-uniform schoolwear. It was a stonewashed denim skort, and a white shirt with black black stripe across it. It walmart brand faded glory. and that was supposed to be my "super cute" outfit.
Post a Comment