My mother.

Well t minus three weeks and counting until I move in with my parents. I just got a washer and dryer installed in my apartment too, so now its really going to suck living at home.

I have talked myself in and out of it several times. I keep saying, maybe I can stay through the rest of the summer, maybe I can push it back until the end of July, maybe I can just go out there and find a job and then worry about moving.

But this will happen, if I push anything back any further, I will chicken out and be here at these nightmare jobs even longer than I planned to be. I will get backed up on bills and I will be here (gasp) yet another year. That cannot happen. I'm still fairly young, and I have to start living my life for me...for once. If I don't do itnow, I'll never do it.

It's not necessarily the swallowing my pride and moving back home that's bothering me. Seriously, its not. It's dealing with my insecure basketcase of a mother on a full time basis. Before I have had the luxury of knowing that whenever she bothers me, I just go home and not answer my phone. Now I'm stuck there with her neurotic ass, all day long. This is really bad to talk about my mom like this, but unfortunately its true.

I even dread the day that I finally get rich, because we probably won't speak anymore. Its not the fact that I won't give her any, its the fact that she will expect a million dollar check like clockwork every month. And she won't even really appreciate because she feels like its owed to her because she gave birth to me. Yes, that sounds absolutely horrible, but once again, unfortunately its true.

Which is also another one of the prime reasons that I'm moving across the county.

Don't get me wrong. It's not the fact that she's a bitch, really. I can almost accept bitchiness. It's the fact that she is selfish and insecure on a dangerous level, on a level that I or most people for that matter, have never seen. If she's mad it me about something, she can't just be mad and not talk to me. She has to rub it in my face every five minutes whether it be by phone messages or stalking, that she's mad at me and not talking to me.

Why can't I just cuss her out and be done with it you ask? Well, I also believe that my mother is mentally unstable, due to symptoms she inhabits that I looked up on the internet. You can't really get super mad at a person if you know that something medically is wrong with them, and they cannot mentally process that they are talking crazy, which I truly believe that mother does. Before you ask, no, she won't get help. Yes, I have offered. So has my sister. The only time her attitude gets in check is if my father threatens to leave her, when she starts having her one of her "episodes" as I like to call them.

Well, I guess my solution is this. Keep my door closed at all times. Tell my father to let her know in a very firm way to leave me alone about their marriage problems. Be prepared to leave at any time, anywhere. And also be prepared to not talk to her for a couple of weeks at a time on end.