Now due to my countless hours of research on the net, the way to make it really big, really really quick in Hollywood does not require a) talent, b) looks (see Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Anniston, or apparently now c) star quality. All it takes, ladies and gentlemen, is a really good publicist. I knew this was true when I saw the Kristen from Laguna Beach make the cover of US weekly for sleeping with Nick Lachey. Yes, she's not a huge star or anything, but that bitch had her own TV show and filmed a movie. There are many other actors in Hollywood who have been in the game for eons and cannot say that.
Back to Jessica, I have seen this bitch host the movie awards, she's in paparazzi shots every day, and a lot of people know her name, too. She's not just a little famous. She's a legitmate actress.
I know you're saying now, she's famous because she's pretty(in some people's opinion anyway, I don't think she's all that, but what do I know). Well, there are many, many pretty girls in Hollywood, and plenty of them do not stick out in a crowd, much like Miss Alba. I've seen her on several talk shows as well. She's really boring. Not stupid "I'm an idiot" boring like Ms. Hilton, but "I'm really am not interested in anything you have to say because I don't care and you don't have any star quality" boring. I mean look at this:
***ZZZZZZZZ*****
There are plenty of people who I absolutely hate Paris Hilton, Puffy, Jennifer Lopez, who I totally resent that have no talent who should not be famous. But the reason that they evoke so much hatred, is because they are stars. Meaning, even if they weren't famous somehow some kind of way they would stick out in a crowd. I actually invest time into hating these people. But yet somehow Jessica Alba landed the only female superhero role in a profitable comic book franchise.
Even as I'm writing about her I'm getting bored.
So what is the point of all this? Basically, unless somehow I luck up and find some fantastic publicist who accept new clients by payment of sexual favors, without upfront cash, I'm screwed.
4 comments:
One of the most unadulterated haterrific posts to date. Jessica Alba is all the way hot and little else is required for my undivided attention. She could get all of it and twice on tuesdays. The sooner you figure this out the sooner you will be less hate filled.
I did my haterism check first this time...didn't you read the beginning?
i totally agree w/this post. sarah jessica parker and jennifer anniston are ugly. and on top of all that- jessica alba is wack. i've never seen her have a hit of any kind yet she seems to get mad recognition...
I love Jessica Alba. She's awesome. She is beautiful AND talented and would be a star even if she wasn't in the public eye because she's a star in mine. I want to find you and fight you and "anonymous" at the same time but with any luck I'll find Jessica first and live happily ever after.
Post a Comment