I asked someone out

This week I promise I get on a writing schedule because I'm getting way too relaxed with the time between posts, fucking ridiculous.

Yes, I did asked someone out. I won't say who, but I have mentioned him on this blog before, and no, not very much. I won't say who it is because the end result is way too embarrasing. But I write this to provide a lesson to you all in the power of rejection.

So there is this certain someone I know who I have known for a while, whom I think is really nice, has shown me nothing but the utmost respect, and who I would like to get to know on a deeper level on a personal basis, whether it be friendship wise or not. I also knew he would never ask me out, so I asked him. I promised lunch at first, but I had a hair appointment that morning, so I was hoping I that I can make it an early dinner. We had been talking off an on for the last couple of weeks, so he knew about the lunch but I never really had the time set aside to asking him, until now.

I texted:
"Hey, I have some errands to run, would you be up for dinner instead of lunch."

His response:
"I have to look into it. I'll let you know as soon as possible".

This was 5 days ago.

Do you think he turned me down? Of course, he did. But, let me tell you why. Because I know. First of all, I was/am in a very vulnerable place right now. I recently realized that my personal life is a mess, in the sense that I don't really have one. So I am doing what I always do and am trying to fix it all by myself. Too put it nicely, it's not working out very well. He probably sense the desperation in the text.

Second, he just got out of a relationship and he's trying to get back with the ex-girlfriend. Has been for a while. You know how it is when someone dumps you, and they still give you a life jacket to try to win them back. I'm pretty sure he's on that tugboat.

Third, I'm pretty sure that's he intimidated by me. Sadly, most men are extremely intimated by women with no kids, no drama, and good jobs. Not all, but most. They feel they have to constantly be on their toes and keep, when in reality they really want to run the show no questions asked. Throw in a certain level of attractiveness from the woman, then forget it. They know you'll leave their ass if they fuck up, and frankly they don't want to take that risk. Now, I'm not saying that he's scared of me because I'm so hot, but I'm sure he knows he would have to be on his toes in order to date me.

I was debating about texting him and finding out if he forgot. But for what? If he wanted to go he would have remembered, or would have least given me a straight forward answer. Whatever. It'll happen when it happens. I think.