Sunday, July 03, 2011

The Women are so Fabulous at Church

They really are.

I may or may not have mentioned before that I attend a very large church. It's on the rather "hood" side of town, but it's still very "hollywood" none the less. Now, I'm not saying it's okay to look like you just rolled out of bed to go to church, but if you do... you deserve to get the side eye as well because it's kind of disrespectful. Get dressed, it's church. And then you have the people who take a full step farther than just getting dressed. I'm talking about the club clothes. The tight, tight dresses, the late arrival/slow walk down the aisle, and my personal favorite, the false eyelashes. False eyelashes and tight club dresses, and slow walk. Do you really need to be seen that badly?

I say all that to say, I use this analogy to further illustrate my fascination of people who want be seen.

The therapy textbook 101 clearly states that these women/people/drag queens clearly did not get attention at home or as a child so now they're trying to overcompensate. True, or in my experience, not true. They get plenty of attention as home. They start unnecessary fights with their significant others to get attention, they participate in drama with their family and friends to get attention, they talk about their kids solely to get attention. I mean their whole life is completely about them and the attention they receive. But that's just my experience. Thanks, Mom.

I am attention whore to a certain extent just like everyone else. But my attention whorey-ness, has been geared toward someone giving me connections to get me further in my career. The nails, the hair, the workouts, the makeup, all to get approached by the right person to get me from a to b. Also, not to attract A man, but to attract the right one. This whole caring about my appearance thing is still a work in progress though. Very slow progress.

Getting back to church, there's a girl/woman who walks in every Sunday, who to put it nicely, is not a petite woman. She wears either very light weight knit dresses with thong or very tight low cut jeans to the service. Also with a thong. How do I know she always wears a thong? Well I said she's not small and the dresses are lightweight so, 1 + 1 = 2. She sits in front on me and it's so distracting because she always comes in late and sits right in front of me and gets up and goes to the bathroom at least once during the sermon. Her dental floss string butt covering my view of altar. And yes, there are false eyelashes, too.

I hate false eyelashes, if you haven't picked that up yet. I would say why but I will go on a tangent about that on another day because I am sure it will relate to another post in some way shape or form.

1 comment:

Brandon said...

So funny! I love your description of these women and the "attention whore-ness" part. Just that the wear this stuff. Hilarious! Love this line "Her dental floss string butt covering my view of altar". Amazing line right there! Great job!