Not-so-age old question....

I think every woman has pondered many age old questions that are not of common knowledge to the general public, but questions that are quietly discussed among themselves. There is one topic that I find that is discussed quite a bit. I will start with a scenario: I was in walmart the other day, and I was getting over a really bad cold, so of course I was blowing my nose. I had no contacts in, not even a trace of lip gloss on my face, and I was wearing a bulky coat with a hood halfway on my head because I was in the freezer section. I was picking out a Smart Ones dinner with tissue hanging out my nose, when a 40 something gentlemen with his daughter proceeded to come up to me and say, "You better be picking out something good to eat, because I'm coming over for dinner tonight."

On top of that, on the way to walmart, I looked even worse because the hood was actually tied to my head, and I was blowing my nose. Meanwhile, I hear someone blowing their horn over and over again, in the car next to me. I, of course thought that meant that was a green light and it was time to go, but to my suprise, there were two gleaming gold grills, so gold that I can actually make out the color and shape through 9 o'clock night sky and black tinited windows that adorned a black car. They were waving there finger at me signaling me to follow them. Which brings me to my question, hoooow come, I don't get action until I look like shit.

Now I know, some of you are thinking (at least you nice people) that I must be really natrually beautiful and I am naively acting as if I'm not aware of this concept. Okay, lets just expel that myth right now. I'm not. I'm aiight with makeup on, and besides beauty is relative. Every man has their preference, so for you women thinking that its more complicated than that, it aint.

Here's another theory that may have crossed your minds, men are intimated by women who are done up all the time and they feel that they have more of a chance when they're not at their best. This theory sounds plausible, but its not. If you look good, you look good and men are going to step to you. If they're intimated by you with all done up, then how do you explain having to fight them off you at the club when you spend at least an hour getting ready. And, you ladies and gentlemen who attend the club have watched in amazement and confusion when you witness a little less than attractive, super big booty girl, and every time you look up she's typing a new number in her cell phone. Why? Because just about every woman gets hit on at the club.

So if you have any explanation as to why I haven't had any action for the last month, and all of sudden my runny nose seems to draw the gentlemen callers in the dozens. Please comment and let me know.