Wackers

So I went to the club this past weekend and I wonder is there is something seriously wrong if you are there taking notes instead of dancing. I swear, I was so entertained by the amount of activity that was going on around me that I wasn't even concerned that much about dancing or drinking. I was too busy taking mental notes.

I don't know how true this is in the north, but in the south there are large subspecies of humans that I call wackers. Wackers is an anagram for "wack ass crackers". A good example, is Kevin Federline, Britney Spears current husband. He is a wacker.


Imagine a white boy with a really thick country accent, who speaks like a ghetto black male, that puts a shitload of gel in their straight hair to make it look like have waves, they have five or six earrings in on ear, and they wear baggy clothes. There are a lot of them where I live, and they all gather in the club, their natrual habitat. They are usually referred to as wiggers(does anybody say that anymore), white boys trying to act black, or ghetto ass country redneck looking motherfuckers. I usually use the ladder, but sometimes its a mouthful.

Here are some more species that I took note of my night out.
1. Supposers
The semi-opposite of wackers. Also, the black equivalent of the white term "poser." They are black males who wear urban clothing and speak urban language, but are usually accompanied by a group of wackers and chase after white girls with no booty.

2. Trippers
White girls with absolutely no ass, that get on the floor and try to pop it like a stripper. Correction, a black stripper. At one point, I saw one get on top of the bar and start doing the splits while she tried to pop her ass. The wackers were trying to put dollars her jeans. I call them trippers because if they really think they can pop it like those girls at Strokers in Atlanta, they are trippin'.

3. The Thirsties
Lord knows I understand why some people are desperate, men and women. Its hard out there. But for the life of me, I don't understand that there are some people who are destined to meet their future wife or husband at the club. On several occasions, my friend and I were stalked by some desperate ass male who beleived that if he followed us around all night that she or I would give them our phone number. The night actually ended for me with a cussout when two asshole foreign men who were pulling me by my arm out the women's restroom. If a start a conversation with you with the words, "Look, I am trying to be nice.." Just walk away, you will be unscathed.

Honorable mentions include, men who bring their girlfriends to the club (don't get it), short men (I am only 5"7 and I had on flip-flops, if you're shorter than that then don't talk to me), ghetto men who come to the club actively seek the first black girl that they see, and unattractive slash dumb men (if I can't get with you by superficiality alone, you better have a little something extra that keeps me interested.)