Yuck, I'm a bundle of nerves right now because its so much shit going on, or it could possibly be this new birth control I just started. I know you all are actively wondering right now because I'm so engaging like that, but some of it I can't talk about because it's still very much a work in progress.
So know what happens when my scatterbrained ass can't pick one thing to talk about, I make a list! Fun!!
1. I went to Los Angeles about a week ago and I haven't talked about because its still very much affecting me. That was the first time I went and it actually felt like dare I say...home. It wasn't so scary, it just felt right. So much that I've been uncomfortable here ever since I got back.
2. They've been working me like a dog at my two jobs lately. I haven't really had any rest since I got back because everybody and their mama wants me to do something for them or with them. I have no problem saying no, but that means I have to sit there and deal with my thoughts. Eww.
3. 27 and no boyfriend still. Not even close. I have horrible committment issues, even worse than I originally thought, due to this past trip. Like desperately need psychotherapy bad.
4. My insecurity level has gone up about 1000%. Why? See number 3.
5. I know you're dying to know what happened, and I don't want to talk about it but I'll give a brief compromise. I met a boy, or rather know a boy. I want him he doesn't want me. I haven't told him. I can't because every girl wants him and I absolutely refuse to be one of the crowd. It drives me crazy. I think he knows how I feel, but I still won't tell him. Hence random outbreaks of bitterness and insanity by yours truly.
Yeah, I know.
6. Acutally met a really nice guy when I was there. Good job, in shape, and actually asked me out on a date. Something that really doesn't happen with me, I usually get the whole "when are you going to let fuck you?" deal. But I just couldn't get into him because of said asshole that I spoke of in number 5.
7. I have issues. I know this.
8. I'm broke. Big shock there.
9. Went to my first actual LA industry thing. The whole point of you going is to mingle and be fake and cheery and talkative. I'm bitter and surly. That will pose as a problem.
10. After all that drama, I still haven't stopped thinking about it and missing it since I left. Didn't want to leave.
Oh, yeah..Just found out that the dude I was messing around with just got engaged. He told me twice, when I point blank asked him, that he did not have a girlfriend. I hate men, I'm never getting married I swear.
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