I really don't like poetry all that much, I don't recogize good poetry when I hear it and to be quite honest, those poets on def poets on HBO sometimes get on my nerves. Even worse than poetry, I cannot stand love poems. For the most part, love poems are really corny, except when they're sex related. But I was told that I need to get my emotions out some way about my true feelings on love, so I wrote the following:
There is someone out there for everyone, and when you find that one who you love beyond the depths of what you can comprehend, you tend to write crap like this. If you really love that someone you will not be able to read any of the following statements without a smile or a nod. So here it goes:
This is for the one that I love and this is why I love you.
I love you for who you are as well as the person you strive to be
I like you for your positive qualities but I love you when they are included with your defects
I love you for not trying to be the type of person that I should love
I love you for your honesty whether it is good or bad
I love you for striving to be the best person possible at all possible times
I love the things you don’t even love about yourself
I love you because you deserve to have someone love you the way you should be loved
I love you for your support in everything even if it’s a cause that you dislike or are indifferent about
I love you for always living life by your own truth
I love you because I see nothing short of a beautiful future for you
I love you because there are not enough people who do
I love you because you never let negativity affect your emotions beyond your control
I love you because you if you were not a lover I will always trust you as a friend
I love you for never sacrificing who you are as well as the people who helped you become who you are
I love you because of the equal comfort level in your sexual being as well as your emotional being
I love you because you never disappoint the ones who do you love you
I love you and I will always love you with every ounce of my soul, even if you don’t love me back.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
Random questions part 2
I haven't written anything in forever for the simple fact that I have not come up with a decent idea yet. So, I'm going to be a lazy ass and do a continuation of the previous week.
11. How come when I go to the gym I still seem to look the same but the white girls there seem to get smaller everytime they go?
12. Why is it only white people love diet coke?
13. How come it seems like super attractive people really get through life without any effort?
14. why is it when we have a dream to fulfill, we set a plan B, then end up going with our plan B?
15. How come there is not one single sitcom on TV right now that is funny?
16. Why is celebrity gossip getting more boring (i.e. shit, i don't give a fuck about Brad and Jen, nobody beat anybody's ass so who cares)?
17. Why did Lil' Kim not only lie on the stand, but lied so badly that no one doubted that she was guilty?
18. Why do men seem to act crazy when it gets warm outside?
19. How come we place so much emphasis on looks when its the pretty mother fuckers that dog us out the worst?
20. Why is having a college degree not worth shit anymore?
11. How come when I go to the gym I still seem to look the same but the white girls there seem to get smaller everytime they go?
12. Why is it only white people love diet coke?
13. How come it seems like super attractive people really get through life without any effort?
14. why is it when we have a dream to fulfill, we set a plan B, then end up going with our plan B?
15. How come there is not one single sitcom on TV right now that is funny?
16. Why is celebrity gossip getting more boring (i.e. shit, i don't give a fuck about Brad and Jen, nobody beat anybody's ass so who cares)?
17. Why did Lil' Kim not only lie on the stand, but lied so badly that no one doubted that she was guilty?
18. Why do men seem to act crazy when it gets warm outside?
19. How come we place so much emphasis on looks when its the pretty mother fuckers that dog us out the worst?
20. Why is having a college degree not worth shit anymore?
Monday, March 14, 2005
Random Questions
Vibe magazine has an article on its last page that asks about 20 random questions reguarding stuff that we have all wondered at one point in time, so since I always wonder stuff, I decided to take this opportunity to make about 10 random questions of my own.
1. Wouldn't Tweet be pretty if she got her teeth fixed?
2. When a black person tells another black person that they're acting like their white, can anyone actually explain what that means?
3. Even though I really can't answer that question myself, how do I know that the black girl on the new Real World acts like a white girl?
4. How come when I try to lose weight and get in shape how come the first assumption is that I have a new man?
5. How come Will Smith cannot accept his role as the biggest movie star in the world instead of trying to come back with these terrible rap records?
6. How come when you're a woman and you try to be as honest with people as possible, how come your considered a bitch?
7. Why do some black people consider Tyler Perry a good writer?
8. Why does having the right connections seem to take priority over intelligence, talent, and businsess savvy when it comes to success?
9. Why do young black adults get stereotyped as ghetto and loud and young while adults do not get stereotyped as lazy drunks?
10. why do a lot of us seem smarter than our bosses?
1. Wouldn't Tweet be pretty if she got her teeth fixed?
2. When a black person tells another black person that they're acting like their white, can anyone actually explain what that means?
3. Even though I really can't answer that question myself, how do I know that the black girl on the new Real World acts like a white girl?
4. How come when I try to lose weight and get in shape how come the first assumption is that I have a new man?
5. How come Will Smith cannot accept his role as the biggest movie star in the world instead of trying to come back with these terrible rap records?
6. How come when you're a woman and you try to be as honest with people as possible, how come your considered a bitch?
7. Why do some black people consider Tyler Perry a good writer?
8. Why does having the right connections seem to take priority over intelligence, talent, and businsess savvy when it comes to success?
9. Why do young black adults get stereotyped as ghetto and loud and young while adults do not get stereotyped as lazy drunks?
10. why do a lot of us seem smarter than our bosses?
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
A Life Less Ordinary
So I'm now a recently minted 26 year old. When I was younger, never in a million years would I have thought that I would be a person to work two mediocre jobs to make ends meet. I thought I would have a career by this point. To be perfectly honest, I really don't want a career. I am very blessed to have two jobs where I can pretty much do what I want a lot of the time. The actual effort comes in being here. I'd probably shoot myself in the head if I was crunching numbers everyday.
You see I used to be really smart when I was little, started walking at 7 months, reading by age 2, reading on a 4th grade level at age 5, skipped first grade. My mother loves to tell the story about me reading time magazine at th hospital when I was 4, a woman sitting next to her was laughing at me until mama actually made me read it back to her and she was shocked. I was one of those kids who hated school because they were bored all the time (I still actually feel that way, but I'm not as smart as I was when I was younger). I was always the nerd, the smartest person in class, the teacher's pet, also the one who got picked on. On top of the hell that I went through at school, I had two very strict parents. I wasn't allowed to go out at all, anywhere, boys were completely out of the question, and I couldn't even watch rated R movies. Then came college...duh, duh, duh...not much different there. For the first two years, I was a social leper. I had no idea how to dress because I had to go to catholic school grades K-12. My first college party I wore black clunky heels from payless with a knit dress from Deb (aka rainbow or any cheap ass 7 dollar clothes store that you have in your town). And yes, I thought I was the shit. So two years pass by, I fall out with all of my female friends on top of being ostracized by them, seriously start developing a super complex about my physical appearance because my male friends are using me to get to my female friends, blah blah, I hate my life. My last two years were fun, I actually developed some long lasting friendships, started getting laid by a football player (my first bootie call, sniff, wipe), and really learned how to act around people.
So now with my brain and my newly acquired social skills, I am unstoppable. I will win every company over with that I interview for with my new attitude, but no one will hire me!! I can't even get a job at walmart!! So heartbreak ensues, and I will have to come back home to the KUNTRY and live with my parents. Graduation day was spent having a nervous breakdown. After landing two super bullshit jobs, I super lucked up and got the job that I have now. One thing about living in small towns in the south, they'll give you benefits and discounts everywhere you go, but they don't like to pay you. I mean damn, a competitive salary is like the plague to these employers. But because jobs are scarce, you will see college graduates working as a computer programmer for 7.50 cents an hour. So after years of struggling and running up my credit cards, I broke down and got a part-time job. I was humiliated. I am a college graduate dammit!! I refuse to live like the common folk!!!! So now here I lie, working 12 hour days and 4 hour weekends. And I still had to borrow money from my father to get my car fixed. A former child prodigy who refused to bow down for the man, isn't life great!
You see I used to be really smart when I was little, started walking at 7 months, reading by age 2, reading on a 4th grade level at age 5, skipped first grade. My mother loves to tell the story about me reading time magazine at th hospital when I was 4, a woman sitting next to her was laughing at me until mama actually made me read it back to her and she was shocked. I was one of those kids who hated school because they were bored all the time (I still actually feel that way, but I'm not as smart as I was when I was younger). I was always the nerd, the smartest person in class, the teacher's pet, also the one who got picked on. On top of the hell that I went through at school, I had two very strict parents. I wasn't allowed to go out at all, anywhere, boys were completely out of the question, and I couldn't even watch rated R movies. Then came college...duh, duh, duh...not much different there. For the first two years, I was a social leper. I had no idea how to dress because I had to go to catholic school grades K-12. My first college party I wore black clunky heels from payless with a knit dress from Deb (aka rainbow or any cheap ass 7 dollar clothes store that you have in your town). And yes, I thought I was the shit. So two years pass by, I fall out with all of my female friends on top of being ostracized by them, seriously start developing a super complex about my physical appearance because my male friends are using me to get to my female friends, blah blah, I hate my life. My last two years were fun, I actually developed some long lasting friendships, started getting laid by a football player (my first bootie call, sniff, wipe), and really learned how to act around people.
So now with my brain and my newly acquired social skills, I am unstoppable. I will win every company over with that I interview for with my new attitude, but no one will hire me!! I can't even get a job at walmart!! So heartbreak ensues, and I will have to come back home to the KUNTRY and live with my parents. Graduation day was spent having a nervous breakdown. After landing two super bullshit jobs, I super lucked up and got the job that I have now. One thing about living in small towns in the south, they'll give you benefits and discounts everywhere you go, but they don't like to pay you. I mean damn, a competitive salary is like the plague to these employers. But because jobs are scarce, you will see college graduates working as a computer programmer for 7.50 cents an hour. So after years of struggling and running up my credit cards, I broke down and got a part-time job. I was humiliated. I am a college graduate dammit!! I refuse to live like the common folk!!!! So now here I lie, working 12 hour days and 4 hour weekends. And I still had to borrow money from my father to get my car fixed. A former child prodigy who refused to bow down for the man, isn't life great!
Monday, March 07, 2005
Movie Reviews: Diary of Mad Black Woman/There Eyes were watching God
Basically if you're black and you live in the south you have heard of Tyler Perry, and if you were born and raised in the church in the south, you own DVD's of all of his plays. For those of you who don't know, I'll give you a brief refresher course. Tyler Perry is a man who at one point lived in his car because he wanted to follow his dream of putting on stage plays that included positive Christian messages, and his plays usually include a character where he dresses up in drag and waves a gun around being silly. These plays are commonly referred to as the "chitlin circuit" plays, and most of the time they have titles like, "mama, I lost my gun" or "mama, I stole something but I forgot what it is". You get my drift...
You see, in these parts, Tyler is a phenomenon. When he puts on that dress and those fake breasts people come out in droves. His DVD's are never in stock and the tickets to his plays sell out within the first week. Me, being the perceived snob that I am had not ever heard of Madea or his plays, and when I did my exact reaction was, "I'm not seeing that ghetto shit." One fateful day at my uncle's house during Thanksgiving, we had no cable or movies, but my aunt is on the mailing list for Tyler Perry's whole collection and she brought them all. As much as I didn't want to, I actually enjoyed them. Except for the fact that people tend to break out in bad gospel songs every five minutes, there a hoot. Needless to say, Tyler Perry is hilarious. So when I found out that Diary of a Mad Black Woman was being made into a movie, deep, deep down on the inside I was excited. But, of course, I didn't tell anybody.
Also, because of the "bougie" perception that I carry, I don't like a lot of black movies. A lot of them just straight up suck. They also insult black people's intelligence. My best friend tells me that I hate black movies because I'm act like a white girl. But since I am a movie buff, everyone deserves a fair shot. Hell, I even enjoyed Friday after Next; so how white could I be.
So now that brings me to Diary of a Mad Black Woman. My initial thought was that I didn't think that the movie would translate very well to screen, and low and behold I was correct. I liked the fact that Tyler Perry did not compromise his vision and kept his christian messages in the movie that were actually spoken by the characters, instead of hiding them behind subtle undertones. I also liked the fact that Madea kept the same spirit as she did in the plays, but other than that, it was equivalent to a really bad soap opera. Your distracted most of the time by Kimberly Elise's and Shemar Moore's horrible wigs, and there is some really good talent here that is wasted on a badly written script. And when I say bad, I mean bad. Like the "canceled soap opera Generations from back in day" bad.
So Oprah decided to make a movie out of one of my favorite books, They're eyes were watching God. And she decided to cast one of my favoritist actresses in the whole world, Ms. Halle Berry!!!(is that sarcasm obvious enough? If not here's clarification, Halle berry can't act worth a damn). I like Oprah because she really doesn't promote anything that she doesn't put her heart and soul into. And even though Beloved was a shit mess, she spoke about it as if her child was made fun of in kindergarten by the other children.
Plus, that woman has damn good taste in books. I digress...
Anyway, I really wasn't expecting very much of they're eyes were watching God. But I actually thought the movie was pretty good. It wasn't rushed, the acting for the most part was decent (except when halle over emotes, I hate that), and the story held up really well. This book is fantastic, and you can't fuck up the movie or people will crucify will you for it. So I have to give props to Miss Oprah and Miss Halle. You two work very well together. Also, what's up to Michael Ealy, when you and Halle break up (which you will because that hoe has isssues), call me, I'm in the book.
You see, in these parts, Tyler is a phenomenon. When he puts on that dress and those fake breasts people come out in droves. His DVD's are never in stock and the tickets to his plays sell out within the first week. Me, being the perceived snob that I am had not ever heard of Madea or his plays, and when I did my exact reaction was, "I'm not seeing that ghetto shit." One fateful day at my uncle's house during Thanksgiving, we had no cable or movies, but my aunt is on the mailing list for Tyler Perry's whole collection and she brought them all. As much as I didn't want to, I actually enjoyed them. Except for the fact that people tend to break out in bad gospel songs every five minutes, there a hoot. Needless to say, Tyler Perry is hilarious. So when I found out that Diary of a Mad Black Woman was being made into a movie, deep, deep down on the inside I was excited. But, of course, I didn't tell anybody.
Also, because of the "bougie" perception that I carry, I don't like a lot of black movies. A lot of them just straight up suck. They also insult black people's intelligence. My best friend tells me that I hate black movies because I'm act like a white girl. But since I am a movie buff, everyone deserves a fair shot. Hell, I even enjoyed Friday after Next; so how white could I be.
So now that brings me to Diary of a Mad Black Woman. My initial thought was that I didn't think that the movie would translate very well to screen, and low and behold I was correct. I liked the fact that Tyler Perry did not compromise his vision and kept his christian messages in the movie that were actually spoken by the characters, instead of hiding them behind subtle undertones. I also liked the fact that Madea kept the same spirit as she did in the plays, but other than that, it was equivalent to a really bad soap opera. Your distracted most of the time by Kimberly Elise's and Shemar Moore's horrible wigs, and there is some really good talent here that is wasted on a badly written script. And when I say bad, I mean bad. Like the "canceled soap opera Generations from back in day" bad.
So Oprah decided to make a movie out of one of my favorite books, They're eyes were watching God. And she decided to cast one of my favoritist actresses in the whole world, Ms. Halle Berry!!!(is that sarcasm obvious enough? If not here's clarification, Halle berry can't act worth a damn). I like Oprah because she really doesn't promote anything that she doesn't put her heart and soul into. And even though Beloved was a shit mess, she spoke about it as if her child was made fun of in kindergarten by the other children.
Plus, that woman has damn good taste in books. I digress...
Anyway, I really wasn't expecting very much of they're eyes were watching God. But I actually thought the movie was pretty good. It wasn't rushed, the acting for the most part was decent (except when halle over emotes, I hate that), and the story held up really well. This book is fantastic, and you can't fuck up the movie or people will crucify will you for it. So I have to give props to Miss Oprah and Miss Halle. You two work very well together. Also, what's up to Michael Ealy, when you and Halle break up (which you will because that hoe has isssues), call me, I'm in the book.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Help me!!!
I don't know if you all are even tempered like myself, but I have a problem being a hard ass. I work at a place where the boss is very easy going, doesn't like to fire people, and makes excuses for everyone. The was actually a drunk schitzophrenic who worked here for three years, who did not get fired after cussing me out in a drunken rage because her the number of completions she recieves have been higher than everyone else's. Needless to say I've been looking for another job for a while now.
I don't know if you all have that one ghetto girl at work who you wonder why do they still have a job. I have that problem and I get into it with her everyday. I bet most of you all do. Like I said in previous blog, I have a problem with aggresssion. Plus, I'm in a place that the boss will tend to look over things if the completion rate is high. So this girl and I got into it at work, and the argument ended with me leaving and going into a bathroom stall and me holding myself until I calmed down. I am the most non-confrontational person in the world, and this kind of stuff never happens to me. I'll tell my boss just so it won't come as a surprise, but if you all have any advice please let me know because this is ridiculous
I don't know if you all have that one ghetto girl at work who you wonder why do they still have a job. I have that problem and I get into it with her everyday. I bet most of you all do. Like I said in previous blog, I have a problem with aggresssion. Plus, I'm in a place that the boss will tend to look over things if the completion rate is high. So this girl and I got into it at work, and the argument ended with me leaving and going into a bathroom stall and me holding myself until I calmed down. I am the most non-confrontational person in the world, and this kind of stuff never happens to me. I'll tell my boss just so it won't come as a surprise, but if you all have any advice please let me know because this is ridiculous
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Review of the Oscars...
I actually wanted to do an in-depth blog of the Oscars, but when I was watching it and turning every five minutes because my hands got tired, and soon realized that I may have the slightest twinge of ADD, I decided that idea was a tad to ambitious for me. So I figured I will just do highlights and lowlights.
Highlights:
1. Chris Rock
Chris kept it real, you couldn't say that he didn't. He couldn't got too far because if you piss off "the Academy", your career is fucked. A bunch of old stodgy white men do not like to be called old stodgy white men, and Chris was able to keep a perfect balance of ruffling some feathers and not biting the hand that feeds him. I loved the bit he did at the Magic Johnson theatre pointing out the fact that black people will really watch anything. Which explains why "Diary of A Mad Black Woman" came in #1 this weekend. Your local church probably rented a school bus just to go watch that shit.
2. Jamie Foxx
Honestly, I really don't give a shit that he won. Everybody knew he was going to win. Hell, he even knew that he was going to win. One of the biggest highlights of the night,for me,was that moment before they announced the winner. He actually looked worried, I actually saw humility. That was cool. Even if he turned into the most conceited asshole in the world this past year, for a split second he realized that it could all go away. That's rare and its beautiful.
3. Morgan Freeman
I know, I know. I'm naming all the black people, and that's very cliche of me to say, "hey, big up to all the black people!!!" But, I am so glad Morgan Freeman won. He deserved to win. He should have won for The Shawshank Redemption, but that's another argument. And...Not only did he win, he made a short yet unbelievably dignified acceptance speech. He thanked everyone who had to do with the movie, collectively not individually, thanked Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank,and he got his happy ass off that stage!! And he actually seemed proud to win, he didn't have that look on his face like, "yeah, y'all knew this was a long time comin' bitches."
4. Charlie Kaufman
He was the winner of the best original screenplay for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." As he looked at the clock ticking, he said, "you know that's really intimidating." and the piece-de-resistance, "I don't want to take my time, I want to get off the stage!". I just basically liked the fact he didn't want the world to listen to a speech filled with blanketed statements as to how much he deserved this award
As you can see, the running theme here is I like people to get off the stage. I plan on doing that when I win....
Lowlights:
1. Beyonce
I didn't necessarily dislike Beyonce's performances, but I just thought they were really boring. I was concentrating more on the hideous eye makeup she wore than the actual singing. Plus, I just loved the fact that her parents and Jigga was sitting in the front row. In fact, so far in the front row that Matthew Knowles gets camera time everytime someone walks up on stage. My question is,Who the hell did they bribe to get front row seats to the Oscars? Actually I heard that they did bribe, but that's another day...
2. Puffy, excuse me, Sean Combs
Just for the simple fact of, what the hell was he doing there, and presenting no less. He wasn't in no damn movie. Which brings me to my last question, who the hell did he bribe to actually go to the Oscars, and who did he blackmail to get to present?
3. Antonio Banderas
He pulled a J-lo. When was on stage, he thought that making all these facial expressions that expressed great warmth and passion, would mask the fact that he can't sing. Plus, he looked dirty.
Highlights:
1. Chris Rock
Chris kept it real, you couldn't say that he didn't. He couldn't got too far because if you piss off "the Academy", your career is fucked. A bunch of old stodgy white men do not like to be called old stodgy white men, and Chris was able to keep a perfect balance of ruffling some feathers and not biting the hand that feeds him. I loved the bit he did at the Magic Johnson theatre pointing out the fact that black people will really watch anything. Which explains why "Diary of A Mad Black Woman" came in #1 this weekend. Your local church probably rented a school bus just to go watch that shit.
2. Jamie Foxx
Honestly, I really don't give a shit that he won. Everybody knew he was going to win. Hell, he even knew that he was going to win. One of the biggest highlights of the night,for me,was that moment before they announced the winner. He actually looked worried, I actually saw humility. That was cool. Even if he turned into the most conceited asshole in the world this past year, for a split second he realized that it could all go away. That's rare and its beautiful.
3. Morgan Freeman
I know, I know. I'm naming all the black people, and that's very cliche of me to say, "hey, big up to all the black people!!!" But, I am so glad Morgan Freeman won. He deserved to win. He should have won for The Shawshank Redemption, but that's another argument. And...Not only did he win, he made a short yet unbelievably dignified acceptance speech. He thanked everyone who had to do with the movie, collectively not individually, thanked Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank,and he got his happy ass off that stage!! And he actually seemed proud to win, he didn't have that look on his face like, "yeah, y'all knew this was a long time comin' bitches."
4. Charlie Kaufman
He was the winner of the best original screenplay for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." As he looked at the clock ticking, he said, "you know that's really intimidating." and the piece-de-resistance, "I don't want to take my time, I want to get off the stage!". I just basically liked the fact he didn't want the world to listen to a speech filled with blanketed statements as to how much he deserved this award
As you can see, the running theme here is I like people to get off the stage. I plan on doing that when I win....
Lowlights:
1. Beyonce
I didn't necessarily dislike Beyonce's performances, but I just thought they were really boring. I was concentrating more on the hideous eye makeup she wore than the actual singing. Plus, I just loved the fact that her parents and Jigga was sitting in the front row. In fact, so far in the front row that Matthew Knowles gets camera time everytime someone walks up on stage. My question is,Who the hell did they bribe to get front row seats to the Oscars? Actually I heard that they did bribe, but that's another day...
2. Puffy, excuse me, Sean Combs
Just for the simple fact of, what the hell was he doing there, and presenting no less. He wasn't in no damn movie. Which brings me to my last question, who the hell did he bribe to actually go to the Oscars, and who did he blackmail to get to present?
3. Antonio Banderas
He pulled a J-lo. When was on stage, he thought that making all these facial expressions that expressed great warmth and passion, would mask the fact that he can't sing. Plus, he looked dirty.
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