A Life Less Ordinary

So I'm now a recently minted 26 year old. When I was younger, never in a million years would I have thought that I would be a person to work two mediocre jobs to make ends meet. I thought I would have a career by this point. To be perfectly honest, I really don't want a career. I am very blessed to have two jobs where I can pretty much do what I want a lot of the time. The actual effort comes in being here. I'd probably shoot myself in the head if I was crunching numbers everyday.

You see I used to be really smart when I was little, started walking at 7 months, reading by age 2, reading on a 4th grade level at age 5, skipped first grade. My mother loves to tell the story about me reading time magazine at th hospital when I was 4, a woman sitting next to her was laughing at me until mama actually made me read it back to her and she was shocked. I was one of those kids who hated school because they were bored all the time (I still actually feel that way, but I'm not as smart as I was when I was younger). I was always the nerd, the smartest person in class, the teacher's pet, also the one who got picked on. On top of the hell that I went through at school, I had two very strict parents. I wasn't allowed to go out at all, anywhere, boys were completely out of the question, and I couldn't even watch rated R movies. Then came college...duh, duh, duh...not much different there. For the first two years, I was a social leper. I had no idea how to dress because I had to go to catholic school grades K-12. My first college party I wore black clunky heels from payless with a knit dress from Deb (aka rainbow or any cheap ass 7 dollar clothes store that you have in your town). And yes, I thought I was the shit. So two years pass by, I fall out with all of my female friends on top of being ostracized by them, seriously start developing a super complex about my physical appearance because my male friends are using me to get to my female friends, blah blah, I hate my life. My last two years were fun, I actually developed some long lasting friendships, started getting laid by a football player (my first bootie call, sniff, wipe), and really learned how to act around people.

So now with my brain and my newly acquired social skills, I am unstoppable. I will win every company over with that I interview for with my new attitude, but no one will hire me!! I can't even get a job at walmart!! So heartbreak ensues, and I will have to come back home to the KUNTRY and live with my parents. Graduation day was spent having a nervous breakdown. After landing two super bullshit jobs, I super lucked up and got the job that I have now. One thing about living in small towns in the south, they'll give you benefits and discounts everywhere you go, but they don't like to pay you. I mean damn, a competitive salary is like the plague to these employers. But because jobs are scarce, you will see college graduates working as a computer programmer for 7.50 cents an hour. So after years of struggling and running up my credit cards, I broke down and got a part-time job. I was humiliated. I am a college graduate dammit!! I refuse to live like the common folk!!!! So now here I lie, working 12 hour days and 4 hour weekends. And I still had to borrow money from my father to get my car fixed. A former child prodigy who refused to bow down for the man, isn't life great!