Review of the Oscars...

I actually wanted to do an in-depth blog of the Oscars, but when I was watching it and turning every five minutes because my hands got tired, and soon realized that I may have the slightest twinge of ADD, I decided that idea was a tad to ambitious for me. So I figured I will just do highlights and lowlights.

Highlights:
1. Chris Rock
Chris kept it real, you couldn't say that he didn't. He couldn't got too far because if you piss off "the Academy", your career is fucked. A bunch of old stodgy white men do not like to be called old stodgy white men, and Chris was able to keep a perfect balance of ruffling some feathers and not biting the hand that feeds him. I loved the bit he did at the Magic Johnson theatre pointing out the fact that black people will really watch anything. Which explains why "Diary of A Mad Black Woman" came in #1 this weekend. Your local church probably rented a school bus just to go watch that shit.

2. Jamie Foxx
Honestly, I really don't give a shit that he won. Everybody knew he was going to win. Hell, he even knew that he was going to win. One of the biggest highlights of the night,for me,was that moment before they announced the winner. He actually looked worried, I actually saw humility. That was cool. Even if he turned into the most conceited asshole in the world this past year, for a split second he realized that it could all go away. That's rare and its beautiful.

3. Morgan Freeman
I know, I know. I'm naming all the black people, and that's very cliche of me to say, "hey, big up to all the black people!!!" But, I am so glad Morgan Freeman won. He deserved to win. He should have won for The Shawshank Redemption, but that's another argument. And...Not only did he win, he made a short yet unbelievably dignified acceptance speech. He thanked everyone who had to do with the movie, collectively not individually, thanked Clint Eastwood and Hillary Swank,and he got his happy ass off that stage!! And he actually seemed proud to win, he didn't have that look on his face like, "yeah, y'all knew this was a long time comin' bitches."

4. Charlie Kaufman
He was the winner of the best original screenplay for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." As he looked at the clock ticking, he said, "you know that's really intimidating." and the piece-de-resistance, "I don't want to take my time, I want to get off the stage!". I just basically liked the fact he didn't want the world to listen to a speech filled with blanketed statements as to how much he deserved this award

As you can see, the running theme here is I like people to get off the stage. I plan on doing that when I win....

Lowlights:
1. Beyonce
I didn't necessarily dislike Beyonce's performances, but I just thought they were really boring. I was concentrating more on the hideous eye makeup she wore than the actual singing. Plus, I just loved the fact that her parents and Jigga was sitting in the front row. In fact, so far in the front row that Matthew Knowles gets camera time everytime someone walks up on stage. My question is,Who the hell did they bribe to get front row seats to the Oscars? Actually I heard that they did bribe, but that's another day...

2. Puffy, excuse me, Sean Combs
Just for the simple fact of, what the hell was he doing there, and presenting no less. He wasn't in no damn movie. Which brings me to my last question, who the hell did he bribe to actually go to the Oscars, and who did he blackmail to get to present?

3. Antonio Banderas
He pulled a J-lo. When was on stage, he thought that making all these facial expressions that expressed great warmth and passion, would mask the fact that he can't sing. Plus, he looked dirty.